Page 205 of Falling for the Wife

I never could, even if my life depended on it. Despite there being no doubt that she could spark that feeling within me, I knew it would never last because my love for her was too deep, and no matter what, no matter how, it always prevailed.

“Marry me,” I beseeched in a whisper.

Her soft wails stopped as she stilled in my arms, and ever so slowly, she pulled her face off my chest before she looked up, tears unstoppable.

“Haven’t I hurt you enough?”

She had. We both knew she had.

“You have.” My throat constricted. “But all has changed…and a lot remained the same.”

“God,” she breathed out, chest heaving. “Oh, fuck it.”

It was the last thing I heard her say before she unceremoniously grabbed the back of my head with both hands and kissed me thoroughly, senselessly. The kiss was as much fire as it was hunger. It was as much desperation as it was hope. It was a ball of contrasting emotions, and I couldn’t get enough of her.

“Kim…”

With her eyes closed, she pressed her lips against mine, leaving a series of small, short kisses. “I love you, Luca, but I have come to terms that you and I can never be.”

My blood turned cold once again. Just like before, loving and hating her went hand in hand. This moment was no different.

“For fuck’s sake, Kimberly! This is the first time you said you loved me, but instead of making this amazing between us, you once again decide to crush everything like you always do. I don’t fucking get you!” I hissed, wanting to shake her senseless.

I wasn’t sure if it was seeing our baby and meeting him for the first time, her saying that she loved me, or the kiss that we shared, but this was a pivotal point for me. My heart couldn’t take any more of her mind-fuckery.

“You know what? This is the same bullshit cycle you always throw at me. I’m done loving you. You’re not worthy of it. Trust my words, I’m going to fall in love again, and you’re going to regret this moment for the rest of your life.”

She seemed hysterical, as if she didn’t know what to think, to say, or to feel.

“I’m—”

“You’re what?” I barked. “Sorry, again? Spare me the same old tripe. I’m over it,” I stated with finality as I directed my gaze towards where our son was fighting for his life.

I had wished things were different, that I could be a part of his life. I had wish I could see him take his first step, cut his first tooth, his first everything, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. It was hard to accept, though I had already signed a contract that gave my rights away.

Coming to terms with that was so much harder after seeing and meeting Gian Luca. I knew I must, though. I had no choice in the matter.

“Whatever you need to make sure my son gets the best of everything, just contact Gino. He’ll give you whatever you need, anything at all.”

I was getting ready to leave. I was forming the right words to tell my son I couldn’t be in his life when I heard her speak behind me.

“Divorce isn’t an option.”

I didn’t care what reasons she had. In my eyes, Kimberly served Kimberly. She didn’t care to raise our son with his own father. Instead, she chose to stay married to Anton. She cared for her own benefit, not her son’s and surely not mine.

She loved me? Ha. That was laughable. I doubted the woman knew how to love.

Willing to keep ignoring her, I tried to memorize my son, knowing I might not see him for a very, very long time.

“You think it’s just you who’s hurt? I think of you every waking moment of the day. You have no idea how much it’s costing me not to throw caution to the wind and say to hell with it all, marry you, and have a great little family, but I fucking can’t! I’m afraid I have no choice in the matter. I gave it away.”

I tensed, knowing that something was amiss. “What do you mean by ‘you gave it away’?”

“I can’t say…” she said reluctantly, making me spin on my heels to face her.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! For once, I wish you would just tell me the fucking truth!”

She looked away, staring at something yet not seeing it at all. “If I do, there’ll be consequences, and I can’t take that risk. God help me, but I just can’t, Luca … not even for you.”

---