Page 71 of The Love of My Next Life
“Dinner!” Drea calls up the stairs.
She’s ecstatic. Between her and Claire, I’ve been in positive energy overload. My dad’s excitement is more muted, but it’s still there. In every deep chuckle, every sidelong glance. I know he’s completely in love with Andrea, and I’m trying so hard to be happy for him.
I walk to the mirror above my dresser and quickly put my hair in a braid.
I practice a smile. I smooth down the front of my shirt, then take a deep breath.
I’ll adjust to this. I can love it for my dad. For Andrea. I practice one more smile, then head out into the hall, running smack into Macon.
He’s leaning on the wall outside my door. Waiting for me.
He glances over my shoulder into my room and smirks.
“No tree,” he says quietly, then nods in the direction of his room down the hall, “but I think we can make this work.”
He turns and trots down the stairs, leaving me staring at his back and trying to calm my racing heart.
This is going to be interesting.
FIFTEEN
“You look so handsome,”my mom says from behind me as I stand on the dais in front of the wide mirror in the tux shop. Tuxedos aren’t my jam, but I do look pretty fucking good.
I straighten my jacket and smooth down the lapels.
“I do look good, don’t I,” I say with a smirk. I watch her in the mirror as she laughs.
She’s so excited. She was never married to my father. She was just a kept woman for a few years, working her ass off to help put him through law school while he fucked around on her. If anyone deserves the wedding of their dreams, it’s my mom.
She stands and comes up behind me, looping her arm through mine and resting her head on my shoulder.
“You look so grown up,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “I still remember when you were just the sweetest little eight-pound chunk with a mop of curls and the biggest blue eyes I’d ever seen.”
She sniffles, and I snort.
“Don’t even start crying now.” I groan playfully. “No memory lane detours, please. I much prefer the six-foot version of myself. This version doesn’t shit his pants.”
She laughs and swats my chest, then wipes tears from her eyes.
“Didn’t ever think I’d be here,” she says with a smile. “My baby boy walking me down the aisle as I marry the love of my life.”
Her voice cracks again, and I pull her into a hug.
“You’re going to be a beautiful bride, Mom,” I say as I squeeze her. “I’m honored to be the one giving you away.”
She pulls back, places her hands on my cheeks, and looks me straight in the eyes.
“I love you, Macon,” she says seriously. “I love you always, no matter what.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. I want the words to stick. I want to focus on the sincerity in her voice. The love in her eyes. But all I can think is,she shouldn’t.
She shouldn’t love me no matter what because all I’ve done is let her down. Put her in danger. Hurt her.
I’m obsessed with her future stepdaughter, for fuck’s sake.
The more she loves me, the worse I’ll hurt her.
I’m hardwired to ruin things. I can’t change it. It’s only a matter of time before she’s crying over something else I’ve fucked up. At this rate, it’s likely going to be sabotaging her relationship withthe love of her lifebecause I can’t keep my hands to myself.
