Page 82 of The Love of My Next Life
Lennon thinks I didn’t see him, but I did. If the jock would have looked down, he’d have seen me, too. The only thing that kept me from launching myself at the prick was knowing Lennon wouldn’t want to make a scene, so I made a more subtle statement. More for her benefit than for his.
I’m playing the long game.
But if he tries it again, I’ll knock his empty head clean off his Ken doll body.
Someone nudges my arm, tries to pass me something, but I wave it away. Nothing else is tainting these lips until they’re back on Lennon. I stare at her. I know she feels me. She always does. I will her to look at me, but she doesn’t. She’ll keep ignoring me all night because she’s a brat, but I’m tired of waiting.
“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” I say to Jules and Casper.
Julian groans and mumbles some smart-ass comment, but I’m already weaving through bodies to reach the other side of the room. I maneuver so I’m behind Claire and smack in Lennon’s line of sight. I step right in front of her so she can’t pretend she doesn’t see me, and I smirk when she startles.
Yeah, brat, I know you’ve been ignoring me.
I pull a cigarette from my pack and slip it between my lips, then nod to the door leading outside. Her brow furrows, and her eyes jump from me to Claire and back.
Claire is talking to some cheerleaders. She’s not paying any attention to Lennon, like usual. When Lennon pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, I know I’ve won. I nod once more to the door, telling her to follow, then I turn and walk outside.
I push through the crowd and head into the yard, stopping about halfway between the house and the bonfire. I lean against a tree that’s in direct view of the door, then take the cigarette out of my mouth and put it behind my ear. When Lennon comes out, it’ll be easy enough to spot me.
I pull the thriller I’ve been reading up on my e-reader app while I wait, and when I hear footsteps crunching over the fallen leaves, I click off the screen and slip my phone into my pocket before looking up with a smirk.
The smirk turns into a scowl when I see blonde hair instead of brown.
“Go the fuck away, Sam.” I groan, sighing at the night sky. “Why can’t you take a hint?”
She laughs and closes the distance between us, then puts her hand on my chest. It makes my skin crawl.
“I just wanted to let you know that my dad was home this week...”
She lets the statement trail off. She doesn’t have to explain. I already know what it means. When Senator Harper is home, his safe becomes a veritable pharmacy. Then he jets off to wherever, leaving his stash for his kids to raid. There’s no way he doesn’t know that Sam and Chase know the combination to his safe, and it’s never made any sense to me. What kind of parent would knowingly supply his kids with drugs?
“I don’t care what Senator Daddy left for you or what kind of Mommy issue demons you’re trying to exorcise with the bad boy across town, Samantha.”
I take the cigarette out from behind my ear and put it back in my mouth, sparking it up with my lighter. I mourn the loss of Lennon immediately, but my skin itches and I need it to stop.
“I told you to fuck off and leave me alone. I’m done being your rebellion.” I pull the nicotine into my lungs and blow it out my nose. “Start whoring yourself out to your neighbor or something if you’re so hard up for dick.”
She growls and digs her nails into my chest. They bite into my skin through my long-sleeve shirt, and I slap my hand over hers to make her stop.
“So, you’re just done?” She sneers. “Goody two-shoes Lennon Washington pays you the tiniest bit of attention, and you’re just throwing me out like trash?”
She presses into me, and I close my eyes against the overwhelming urge to shove her. I understand why she’s upset. She’s used to being discarded, and it sucks. I can relate.
“What about all the shit we’ve been through?Yearsof friendship,” she says, twisting the knife in my gut with her words.
Guilt sets in as memories of late-night conversations and tears and arguments flash through my head. Me and Sam used to be best friends before things got all fucked up and confused. Before the pills and the powder and the sex.
She takes her other hand and pounds it into my chest, so I grab that one, too.
“You promised you wouldn’t abandon me,” she says, her voice softer. Younger. And my heart fucking sinks. I’m such a dick. I’m no better than my father.
I look down at Sam, see the glisten of tears in her eyes, and for a second, I want to pull her into a hug. I want to apologize. I want to tell her that I didn’t lie on that day at the clinic when I promised I wouldn’t leave her side. I meant it when I said I’d get her out of that fucked-up house with her father’s fucked-up friends. I want to tell her she can still depend on me. That I’m still her friend.
But then I think of Lennon.
I see her face outside of the car when she found me with Sam. I hear her crying, and the sound mixes with my mom’s tears, and Claire’s tears, and my own fucking tears, and I know I can’t keep my promise to Sam.
I can’t keep any promises, apparently.
