Page 39 of Her Maine Reaction

“Were you?”

“Yes.” He sighs. “I couldn’t disappoint my parents, and I couldn’t let my brothers down. It sounds insignificant, and inconsequential, but it wore me down.”

“It’s not insignificant, Ryan. You should’ve been able to just be you, and have that been more than enough.” I look up at him, and his eyes are clearer than I’ve seen them yet.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“For what?”

Shaking his head, he lifts my chin slightly, and plants a soft kiss to my lips–one that I can feel tug at my chest.

How did we go from hot and heavy, to talking about our dads, to kissing sweetly? Ryan’s throwing me off balance and making me rethink everything I thought I knew about him, and me.

Resting my head back on his chest, I close my eyes. “Thank you for coming to save me. I thought my body was going to eat itself if I didn’t get food soon. I also thought that I’d die a frozen popsicle.”

His body starts to shake with laughter beneath me, and I playfully slap his chest. “Stop laughing.”

“I’d never let you die a frozen popsicle. I have ways of keeping you hot for days.”

“I know you do, sheriff.” I smile. “And it’s those ways that have been keeping me up at night.” Oh my God. Shit. I just said that out loud?!

Tensing up, I try and pull away, but Ryan tightens his arm around my shoulders.

“Don’t,” he says, his voice hoarse. “Don’t pull away.”

I try and relax back into him, but it’s hard. I just told him I’ve thought about him–often, and at night. I’m fucking pathetic.

He doesn’t say anything, and I don’t either. We just sit and breathe together. My head lifts with every inhale he takes, and lowers with each exhale.

The comforting motions lull me into closing my eyes, and I start to drift off.

∞∞∞

Stirring, I feel myself being moved, but I don’t want to wake up yet. I was dreaming of Ryan, and he was here with me. He was being sweet, and kind, and handsome, and sexy.

“Shh, I’m here,” he says to me, and I snuggle closer, loving the warmth he’s giving me.

It feels so real. His hard muscles against my softer frame surround me in a strength only a man like him could possess. I’m glad I can still dream of him. I thought maybe seeing him again would make the dreams stop, and I’d have to go back to the black bleakness I’m used to waking up to.

Sighing, I tuck my face into the crook of his neck and run my hands up his chest, feeling his starchy uniform beneath my fingers. That uniform does things to me that I can’t explain. Well, I can, I guess. It makes my lady parts clench every time I see him in it. But it might just be Ryan that makes me crazy with need and think sexy thoughts.

“Ashley,” he whispers, making the hairs around my ear tickle my skin.

“Mmm,” I hum, loving the feeling of his warm breath spreading across my face.

I’m being laid out on something soft and cool, and the warmth of Ryan leaves me. A cold bed without him.

“No,” I groan, searching for him again.

“I’m here,” he says nearby, but he’s moving farther away.

The soft pillow and cool sheets have me curling my body around the cold comforter for a warmth that isn’t coming. I’m cold again.

Shivering, my jaw clatters and my body shakes.

He left me.

Even in my dreams, he leaves me.

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