Page 97 of Her Maine Reaction

When it’s finally cleared, my back is killing me, my arms are sore, and my neck has a creak. But now I can leave.

“I’m just going to see if I left anything inside, and then I’ll give you the keys back.”

Walking through the cottage, tears prick the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. It’s just a little place. I didn’t even spend that much time here. But there’s something about it. Something that draws you in like a home cooked meal on a Sunday, and embraces you like a warm hug when you walk through the door.

I take one last look around after checking all of the rooms, and I say a silent goodbye before locking the door behind me.

“Ash, I’m sorry,” Ally says, her voice full of emotion. “When I invited you up here, I had no idea this would be the outcome.”

“It’s okay, Ally. I’ll be fine. I always am.”

“It’s okay to not be fine, too, though. You know that, right? You don’t have to pretend all the time.”

“But I do,” I confess, an emotionless smile forming on my lips as I pull her in for a hug.

“Love you, Trash-ley,” she whispers in my ear, my favorite joke nickname my friends call me not even making me smile like it usually does. “I’ll get your stuff tomorrow and bring it to you in the next couple of weeks. I’m due for a visit, anyway.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“It’s going to be dark really soon. Please be careful. You can stay with me tonight and then leave in the morning if you want. I’ll make sure Jake doesn’t let Ryan anywhere near you.”

“No. I’m just going to go now.”

Nodding in defeat, Ally steps aside and lets me get in my car. I’m hoping it hasn’t frozen over while buried, so I take a deep breath, and pray that it’ll turn on as push the start button.

“Thank you, God,” I whisper when the engine turns over. I’m going to have to let her warm up for a few minutes before taking off. But having time alone to think isn’t a good thing for me right now, and Ally is still next to me, sitting in Jake’s truck.

Pulling out my phone to text her that she can leave, I see a new message from Ryan waiting for me. The pain in my chest spreads down my arms, and my hands shake as I open it. I shouldn’t, but I read the first two words in the preview, and I prepare myself for the torture.

Hey, sweetheart. I’m sitting here with a pile of paperwork as tall as me, and I got to thinking about how you said you could help me with a reward system…

He wants to have phone sex right now? Is he fucking serious? Of course he is. Because all I am is a warm body for him to play with.

I’m so embarrassed. I just handed myself over to him on a silver platter, so I only have myself to blame. I knew this would happen, but I wasn’t prepared for how it would leave me feeling like some floozy whose past finally caught up with her.

When my phone starts to vibrate in my hand, and I see his name flash on my screen, my heart jumps. I want to answer it, I want to hear his voice one last time.

But I can’t.

I can’t listen to any more lies without completely breaking.

It eventually stops buzzing, and the breath I didn’t know I was holding rushes out of me.

You can leave. I’m just warming my car up.I text Ally, my frozen fingers shaking as I type.

I want to make sure you’re okay.

Ally, please. I just need a few minutes.

Ugh, fine. You’re impossible. You better text me, though, when you’re leaving, and when you make your first stop. I want to make sure you’re safe.

I will.

Love you, Ash. I’m sorry.

Text you soon.

I can’t type the words ‘I love you’ back. It’s tainted for me now–a bitter taste on my tongue.

---