Page 11 of Love is Strange
As predicted, little Mary was welcomed into the Browns’ home with open arms. The couple were very emotional, thanking me more fervently than even Eve had. Weeks passed, and I saw less and less of the young couple in confession, and more and more of them sitting together in the front at services. They had me baptize Mary, who they’d renamed Veronica. Declaring this outcome a victory, I tried to put Eve and her baby out of my mind.
I no longer strolled by the whorehouse on my morning constitutionals.
I avoided that street altogether in the evening.
I still wake from dreams of her though, drenched in sweat and hard as a rock. I told myself that this would pass with time.
That was, until Eve came to me again.
Confession isn’t exactly what she came for, or at least, not her confession. She came to pry information out of me and used the confessional for her ambush. It was very late and I was hearing contrition after contrition, when the screen lid opened, and the familiar scent of her perfume wafted through the tiny holes separating her part of the partition from mine.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” If I’d had any doubts about who was on the other side, they evaporated with the cadence of her complex voice. “It’s been…oh hell, I have no idea how long it has been since my last confession.”
“Proceed.” My voice sounded terse as I sat forward, eager to hear anything and everything she had to say. She could have confessed to high treason or mass murder, and I’d have absolved her if it meant more time that we’d breathe the same air.
There was a long pause, and I thought I could hear her sniffling. “I’m not here to repent, Henry. I came to check on Mary.”
I should have expected this, but I truly hadn’t believed I’d see her again at all. Many mothers regret giving their babies up; in fact, it’s more common than not. This was different. Eve knew I knew where her baby was, and I knew all too well the damage it would do to Mary’s new, fragile family if Eve changed her mind.
I blew out a long breath. “What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know…that she’s alive. That she’s not in some terrible orphanage somewhere. That she’s fat and happy.”
“She’s doing very well,” I responded, though in truth, I hadn’t seen her or her parents in a couple of weeks. Still, my pulse boomed in my temples; I was so excited to be in her company again, and I was too wound up to be as cagey as I should have been. “She’s part of a family now, like you wanted.”
“Can you take me to see her?” Her words came out in a rush, as if she’d been waiting years to ask this.
I sucked in a breath, my hushed tone thunderous in the enclosed space. “Eve…”
“They don’t even have to know who I am, Father. They don’t even have to see me…I just want to see her.”
“…You have to know this is a terrible idea. If you’ve changed your mind—”
“I haven’t. She wouldn’t be safe with me. That hasn’t changed. I just need to lay eyes on her before I leave Ireland. It would give me peace of mind. It would…fortify me.”
Doubt collapsed on me like an avalanche. So many things could go terribly wrong. My brain sounded warning bells, but my heart told me she needed this. I was paralyzed with indecision, and speechless in response.
The partition to my right moved and she entered my side of the confessional. By the faint glow of the lanterns outside, she was luminous. She stepped straight between my legs without hesitation. Her closeness disarmed me, and her gaze held me captive.
“I’d be forever grateful, Henry.” My upturned face was virtually nestled between the firm ivory flesh of her bosoms. “I wouldn’t bother them, and I’d never return. I wouldn’t tell them who I was or that she was mine. I’d never tell anyone you told me where she was.”
“I can’t—”
She knelt down so that she was eye level with me, and once again, I was drowning. Her incredible confidence disarmed me. “But you can, Padre. You’re the only one who can. I know it. You know it. Nothing bad will happen here. What can I do to change your mind?”
I tried to object as she dropped to her knees, but my words caught in my throat when she gripped me firmly through my trousers.
“Say no more,” she cooed, squeezing my hardness before unfastening the buttons with deft fingers. “I’ll make you see the face of God.”
A rattling at the cathedral door whisks me from my revelry back to the cold winter evening at present.
“We’re closed!” I shout, remembering that I’d bolted the front door before I’d gone to meet her, right after the incident with the Bishop. This sanctuary was Eve’s and mine tonight. I’d given everything to my congregation since taking my vows, and they could give me this.
Eve mumbles against her gag from underneath the burlap. It sounds as if she’s praying, but I’d gagged her well when she was unconscious, so I can’t be entirely sure.
Turning back to the altar, I continue my prayer. “…but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love.”
The undulating package beside me writhes, and Eve’s head appears from the hole in the top. Her eyes roll around as she tries to get her bearings, and they finally fix on me. She’s pleading with me—not that I can make out what she’s saying—but I know her tone and the look in her eyes.
