Page 50 of Love is Strange
I smirk, stepping fully inside and walking to the corner I seem to have claimed. Dropping my bag, I bend down and grab the clothes from inside. I contemplated this morning not even doing this and just being the likable asshole until I got what I needed, but I figured I could step it up a notch and indulge in some fun with Pretty Dancer.
The room slowly fills with students, but my gaze isn’t on them. It’s on her because she is looking right at me as I take my shirt off and drop it to the floor, then slip out of my jeans and into some basketball shorts. I know there is a locker room for this shit, but this was a much better option. She walks toward me, her eyes full of—oh shit.
“Listen,” she says, her skinny finger poking my chest, “I have had it with you—”
My hand wraps around her finger, stopping her from saying anything else. I hold it in place against my hard chest, looking down at her like she is my prey and I’m a hungry lion about to pounce.
“Touch me like that again, Pretty Dancer, and I’ll have to show you how a real man handles defiant woman like you.”
She jerks her hand away, looking at me with something I’m unsure of floating in her gaze. I smirk, knowing my words hit a sore spot—or her G-spot—but regardless, I hit a nerve. She lowers her eyes as she backs away from me and heads to the front of class.
I’ll play along with this stubborn act she is trying so hard to maintain, and the second I get what I want,poof.
I’m gone.
S E V E N
EMILY
My eyes are gluedto the plate in front of me. It’s full of delicious food, and as amazing as it smells, I have no appetite. What I want isn't food and it isn't something I can have. Let alone something I should want. Dan is good to me. Dan has been my rock for years. He is my husband. My provider. He is amazing, loving, supportive, and…and that's all I’ve ever had since I was in high school. Just him. Nothing and no one else.
Then again, he was the only one to show me any kind of attention. I wasn’t the best-looking girl in high school, but I wasn’t ugly either. I just didn’t have that wow factor all the boys seemed to want in a girl. So, when Dan smiled that precious smile of his, it swept me off my feet and I’ve been blinded by it ever since.
Now, oh God, now I have some wanna-be man child telling me dirty little nothings and it's making me feel as if I've settled with the safer option because it was my only option at the time. I try to swallow the lump in my throat as I hold back tears. I hate myself for feeling like this. I hate myself for feeling like I don't want my husband anymore. I hate that I want to know what it feels like to be with someone else. And I especially hate that I want to feel it with Ryan.
“Em?” I look up. Dan's face comes into view and I have to keep my composure.
“Yeah?”
“What's wrong?” He asks, worry coating his soft voice.
I clear my throat and smile at him, “Nothing, babe. I’m just tired. It was a long day.”
He places his hand on top of mine and nods. “You don't have to eat. I’ll clean up and then run you a bath.”
As he gets up, taking both of our plates with him to the kitchen, guilt kicks me in my chest. Making my heart feel like it shattered from the impact. I get up quickly, heading for our bedroom. Once inside, I lock the door behind me and lean against it, sliding down until I’m on the floor with my legs pressed firmly against my body.
What am I going to do?
* * *
“No, Claire.”I literally bark at my student. “Dammit!”
She shrinks back, looking at me with defeat. I sigh, knowing I shouldn't take my frustrations out on her. “I’m sorry. That’s all for today. You can go.”
Claire nods and then heads for the locker rooms. I was hard on her today, mainly because my mood has been soured by lack of sleep. I stayed up almost all night, feeling as if I was suffocating from Dan's embrace and the weight of guilt.
I feel like such a horrible wife and I can't talk to my husband about why.
When I see Claire walk out of my classroom, I head back onto the dance floor and plug my phone into the dock, turning the volume up and letting the music play loudly. Thankfully, Ryan wasn't here today, and I was able to focus on my students. They need my undivided attention with the Winter Formal approaching so quickly.
Seeing how I have some free time with school being out for the day and my last private lesson is done, I feel like I should let off some steam.
I've been working on a solo dance, something just for me. Just so I can be proud of myself again. Alongside of feeling like I'm losing interest in my husband, dancing is coming in a close second. This past week has tested me in so many ways. I need to find my bearings. I need to find me again before I get lost in whatever it is that's plaguing me.
As soon as I’m finished stretching, I get to my feet and walk over to my phone, scrolling through the songs until I find the one I’m looking for. Before I push play, I text Dan and tell him dinner will be on me. If I’m going to find myself again, I should start at my roots and that’s where my husband lies.
The songs melody slowly starts to play through the speakers, setting the tone I need to begin. The tunes flow through my veins like a drug, feeding my brain what it needs to function and my limbs what they need to move. The first few tries are a bust, ending with me falling on my ass. After about the fourth repeat of the song, I finally find the rhythm I need.
