Page 52 of Love is Strange
With that, he gets to his feet, grabbing his shirt on the way, and leaves. He just leaves. While I sit here and watch, feeling heartbroken for too many conflicting reasons. The main one being that I just cheated on my husband. I just had sex with one of my students. I could lose everything. My husband. My job. My life. Everything.
Fuck, what have done?
N I N E
RYAN
Sweat poursdown my back as I run for mile five. I’ve been out of the house since four this morning, before my parents got up. Before the sun even came up. I didn’t sleep worth a shit last night, but that’s what usually happens after I lay another weight of rebellion on my chest.
I’m sure you thought I was some pompous, spoiled, broken asshole who just needed a good ass whooping growing up, right? Maybe just a hug or two, a little love? Sorry to burst that bubble, but that’s not the root of my evil. Not all of it anyway. I’m sure, though, you’re sick of hearing about my shitty life growing up. So, that’s enough of that. I have other things on my mind.
Like how I can’t stop thinking about how good Emily felt while I fucked her. It was almost unrealistic. Her body was a treasure chest awaiting to be opened, and I opened it. I grabbed the gold, and I caressed it. Probably not in the way she would have wanted, but I did. And it felt fucking Godly.
I won’t lie, the weight of guilt hit me once we were done. The after effects of my bad decision, if you will. Kind of like the side effects of any drug you take. The look on her face when I just walked out has to be one of the worst-looks I’ve ever seen on a human being. It was like I broke her. Like I took something from her, just so I could have what I wanted.
In a way, I did. I fucked her so I could have another notch in my belt for not only embarrassing my parents, but another notch for me getting away from this place. From them. From everything. I just want to start over with a fresh book of blank pages for me to write a new life in. In my act of greed, if you want to call it that, I more than likely ruined her entire life. The thing is, the one thing keeping me from going back to her and apologizing and skipping town, is she didn’t stop me. Not once did she show me any sign of not wanting what happened.
The second my lips touched her, I knew she wanted it just as much as I did, but for a different reason. Her body responded to me in ways no one else has. The way she pleasured herself while I fucked her, it took everything in me not to come then. It was heaven on Earth and I was God for a split second, getting to indulge in something sinful behind closed doors.
Because we all know God was just as much of a sinner as the rest of us.
“Fuck!” I breath out, coming to a stop on top of the hill. Looking down at my tracker, I see I hit five and half miles. I guess I was more caught up in my thoughts than I had realized. I wipe the sweat from my brow and turn back toward my house. I need to shower and eat something before I pass out. As much as I would like to use that as an excuse not to go to school today, I’m not going to.
I have something else in mind for the day.
T E N
After my run this morning,I took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tee. I figured if I was going to pursue Pretty Dancer today, I best stay on her good side. And dressing to impress and dance should do the trick.
The bell rang not too long ago, releasing us from our previous class. I’m sitting outside of the dance hall, waiting for her to open the door. I’m nervous, for some unknown reason. Maybe it’s because I expect her to slap me when she sees me. I wouldn’t stop her, or blame her, but that won’t stop people from wondering why she did it.
Isn’t that what you want, dipshit!?I think to myself. Getting to my feet, I let out a harsh breath and run my hands through my hair. I need to get my shit together and focus on my personally appointed task.
Step One: Seduce Pretty Dancer
Step Two: Let the secret out
Step Three: Watch the chaos unfold.
Step one is done, now all I need to do is—“Are you coming in?”
I turn and see Pretty Dancer standing there, holding the door open with a blank stare.
“Yeah.”
Walking by her, I head over to the same spot I always sit and drop my near-empty bag on the floor. I think I have maybe one pen and a notepad. I don’t see the point in having anything else in there when I’m not going to use it.
I watch from my spot as the classroom fills up, Pretty Dancer avoiding my presence the entire time. I’ll grab her attention shortly and maybe later she can grab something of mine. A smirk starts to spread across my face at the thought but is quickly wiped away when I see the dean walk in with the fucking counselor.
“Class. Listen up!” Pretty Dancer says, “Dean Kellie and Mrs. Welch would like to speak with you guys.”
The dean nods once, then steps forward. “I’ll make this quick. Last night, our security cameras caught a student leaving Grand Valley at a late hour. The only ones we allow here after school hours are staff members. School ends at three. Extra-curricular activities do not go past four. This person was seen leaving at eight.”
My eyes land on Pretty Dancer, but she isn’t looking at me. She’s looking at the floor.
“I want it to be known that if anyone else is seen leaving this property after hours, we will seek repercussions and this person will be reprimanded.” Mrs. Welch adds in, looking at me as if she is going to steal my soul with her gaze. I smile at her innocently. “I have my suspicions, but until I know for sure, every single student here at Grand Valley Prep is under surveillance.”
They act like someone came in here and wrecked the place. I laugh to myself and roll my eyes.
