Page 55 of Love is Strange
“It’s okay. That’s what we’re here for. Especially Emily. She loves to help.” Dan chimes in happily. “Why don’t you go get changed and I’ll pack up some stuff for him.”
I smile and nod, “Thanks. Good night, Ryan.”
“Night, Mrs. Emily.”
I turn on my aching feet and walk toward our bedroom. Once inside, I walk over to my dresser, searching for something comfortable to wear. Some days I long to be in my leotards, others I want to burn them all and just live in leggings and big t-shirts.
“So, this is where he gets fuck you? Lucky man.”
I jump, dropping the clothes in my hands as I turn to face Ryan.
“What are you doing in here?” I bark at him.
“Calm down, Emily.” He says my name in a sing-song voice with that delicious smirk on his face. “Danny Boy is loading some food up in his car for me and I asked for the restroom.”
I shake my head, “Please get out.”Don’t go.“You really need to leave.”Come closer.
The words coming out of my mouth are fighting the words swirling around in my head. I swallow hard, fighting myself on standing my ground and keeping the promise I made not too long ago. Ryan steps toward me, but instead of protesting, I just accept what he does next.
Ryan lifts me up and kisses me as he pushes me against the dresser. The hunger in his kiss sets my skin on fire and my insides ache to feel him inside of me again. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I can’t seem to convince myself that it’s wrong even though I know it is.
Ryan breaks our kiss, putting his forehead against mine. “I had plans Pretty Dancer,” he whispers, “But you shifted every single detail I had mapped out.”
I want to ask him what he means by that, but I hear the front door close before I can question his words. Ryan sets me down, running his thumb over my lower lip before he smiles at me and turns around to walk out of my room.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Emily. Wear that black leotard for me.” He winks before he disappears out of my room. Quickly, I gather my things and dart into the bathroom before Dan can find me. I’m sure I look even guiltier than before.
“Jesus, Em.” I whisper, looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. My lips are swollen, and my eyes are glossed over. My fingers trace my lips, the feel his still on them.
“Hey, babe.” Dan knocks on the door, making me jump. I wipe my face, riding it from the tears I didn’t know were falling. “I’ll be back shortly.”
“Uh—okay. I love you.”
“I love you, Em.”
T H I R T E E N
RYAN
I thinkI’ve become better at lying to myself more than others. I keep telling myself that I can just fuck her and ruin everything she has and what I have, but I can’t shake her like I thought I could! She has become this addiction in such a short amount of time and I need to detox fast before I find myself craving her in ways that will fuck up my plans.
I pull on my dick a little harder, thinking about how her pussy felt around it. I didn’t get what I wanted tonight, so this will have to do. The sounds of her soft moans fill my ears as I tug harder, faster, trying to reach that point of ecstasy I need right now.
Getting to my feet and running my hands through my hair. I position myself in front of my dresser and lean against it before I start to jerk myself off again. Visions of her face fill my head. The way she looked while I was deep inside of her, fucking her like she deserved.That’s it,I think as I go faster. Her moans fill my head again and her rubbing her clit flashes across my mind.
“Oh God,” I breathe out, feeling my release, then all too quickly, I come. My entire body tenses up before it relaxes completely. I sigh, dropping my head. “Fuck!”
Dropping down on my bed, I grab a shirt from the floor and clean myself up. I lay down and close my eyes tightly, trying to stop whatever the fuck it is I’m feeling.
At first it was lust. I was drawn to her because she was nothing more than a pawn for me to use before the big check mate moment. Now—now I don’t know what the fuck is going on with me and I hate it. I won’t stray from what I feel I need to do, but I guess for the time being, I can linger until I figure out what to do next.
* * *
“No. No, no, no!”Shaking my head, I drop my backpack and run to the dance hall door. In big black letters on a white piece of paper:
DANCE CANCLED FOR TODAY. PLEASE GO TO THE LIBRARY FOR STUDY HALL.
I ball the piece of paper up and toss it to the side before I bend down and grab my bag. I wonder where she is and why she didn’t come in today, but I guess I’m about to find out because my feet are moving of their own accord straight to my car as thoughts of me driving to her house fill my head. I walked there last time, just so she wouldn’t see my car. I knew if she had, she wouldn’t have come inside to see me sitting at her kitchen table talking with her husband.
