Page 74 of Love is Strange
“Ella, don’t be mad, okay? I’m sorry I’m being such a prick right now. It’s just … the way you were last night when I came home … I thought I lost you, you know?” he says quietly.
I raise my eyes up at him in surprise. He looks genuinely subdued and my heart aches for him. Rus is so used to losing people in his life—to burning those proverbial bridges, that I don’t think he’d be able to stand it if it happened with us too.
“How many times do I have to tell you that will never happen?” I ask him in disbelief. He raises his dangerously watering eyes toward me and stares. “Rus, this isn’t anything like I’ve ever had before. What I feel when I’m with you is so hard to put into words, but the only way I’ll leave you is if you want me to and even then, you’ll have to physically pick me up and throw me away.”
He smiles, a single tear rolling down his ruggedly handsome face and nods. “Thanks, Ells. I needed to hear that today.”
“You’re welcome,” I reply softly, reaching across the table and resting my hand on his free one. I give it a gentle squeeze as he moves his thumb gently across the top of my bare skin causing me to shiver.
The rules can wait until tomorrow.
He seems to be dealing with enough pain for today.
Chapter Six
I clearmy throat as I snuggle deeper into his arms. We’re lying on the couch watching a violent slasher movie—his favorite kind, and as the killer begins to slowly ascend the stairs after his prey, I begin to tremble. I hate these movies, they always scare me, but it gives Icarus a chance to be a knight in shining armor by holding me close and getting a kick out of my reactions.
It’s a win for him and that’s enough to make me happy.
The killer kicks the door to the room where the heroine is hiding and I damn near jump off the couch causing Icarus to laugh.
“Chicken,” he teases me.
“Whatever,” I grumble good-naturedly, to which he places a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
“Ever wonder what that would be like, Ells?” he asks as he shifts behind me on the couch, running a hand up and down my arm.
“What?” I ask, turning my face up toward him.
“That,” he replies, nodding at the screen. I raise an eyebrow and turn my attention back to the movie just in time to see the killer cut the girl’s throat from ear to ear.Guess she’s not the heroine after all.
“No, I don’t think I’ve ever found myself wondering what it would be like to stalk and kill someone,” I reply dryly.
“Me either; I was just wondering if you were more of a freak than I knew,” he teases again with a laugh.
I let out a loud sigh and attempt to sit up, but he pulls me tightly back against him.
“Stop being so sensitive, babe. I was just kidding,” he says before yawning and leaning his body back against the couch. It’s just enough space and relaxation on his end for me to quickly pull away from him and sit up.
“I know,” I say with a shrug as I lean forward and grab my rum and Coke from the coffee table. “I just think you take it too far sometimes is all.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, pausing the film and giving my back a gentle nudge with his knee. He wants my attention right now and I’ll give it to him because it will make him happy. I turn slightly on the couch, folding a leg underneath myself and shrug as I take another sip of my drink.
“That’s just a weird thing to ask someone,” I say conversationally. But then it makes me wonder. “Have you ever thought about killing someone, Rus? Is that why you asked me?”
He lets out a groan as he runs both of his hands back through his hair before letting them rest on his face. He’s counting to ten, I can tell because his breathing is methodical now and when he’s reached his number, he lowers his hands to his chest, interlacing his fingers together.
“No.”
“Rus.”
“Alright. Maybe.”
“Rus….”
“Why does it matter?” He asks through clenched teeth. “If I ever thought about it, I’ve had every opportunity to do it and I obliviously haven’t. Stop acting like I’m a psychopath for asking you something like that. We’re watching a horror movie, it seemed like a common-sense question to ask at the time. Allow me to apologize for exercising some common sense,” he says bitterly as he swings his long legs over my head and gets to his feet.
“You can’t be serious right now,” I reply, evenly. “Are you really walking away because I asked you a question instead of giving you the answer you were looking for?”
