Page 9 of Love is Strange
I startled myself with the veracity of my statement, and I was struck with an epiphany. My desire for her to leave was born out of self-preservation. If I was in Eve’s company much longer, I’d surely cast aside my vows to God and offer her my soul instead. I’ve never been a weak man, and my convictions hadn’t wavered a day in my life. This sudden loss of control had me in a panic, and like a drowning man, I was grasping at my surroundings.
Her brow furrowed at my suggestion, and somehow she looked even lovelier. “If home were an option, don’t you think I’d be there already?”
I had no response. I yearned to know her story…every detail of her childhood, her family life, and the gory details of her dishonor. I needed to know everything there was to know about this devastating beauty. I was desperate for Eve to convince me that she was the angel she appeared to be…a victim of circumstance. I wanted to save her from this fate, like Christ had Mary Magdalene. I alsowantedher. In my bed, on the couch, on top of the very table at which we sat. I wanted to possess her and claim her and shout to the world that she was mine.
“Eve…”
“I either leave her with you or I leave her on someone’s doorstep. I feel safer with you. She cannot come back there with me. I overheard some of the others talking…about the Madame and her intentions. She’s telling people my baby is more valuable to her than I am…that she’ll have her working before she can walk. They’re saying that’s probably why the Madame took me in in the first place.”
My mouth dropped open, mortified by the depths humanity will sink to for the thousandth time in my life. Eve nodded wisely at my stunned response.
“Men are disgusting,” she pontificated. When I averted my eyes with justifiable embarrassment, Eve stammered, “Pr...present company excluded.”
My darling girl, you have no idea.
“I’m hungry,” I announced, rising to put space between her and me. My appetite wasn’t entirely a lie. In spite of her wretched revelation about her employer, I was drooling, and my ravenous need was getting harder to suppress. I rose to retrieve scones and curd, hoping to prolong her visit. The baby had fallen asleep, and Eve took the opportunity to place her in the basket and remove her to the next room.
“Tell me your story,” I implored once she returned.
Her eyes locked onto mine, and a flush spread across her cheeks and décolletage. This reaction alone filled in many gaps in my knowledge of her, but taking a weighty breath, she folded her hands. “First tell me yours.”
Impressed with her cheeky confidence, I lifted a shoulder and brought my cup to my lips. “There isn’t much to tell.”
“I doubt that very much. The priesthood is an unusual path.” She gracefully took a seat across from me, seeming to settle in.
“Selling your body is too.” I gave her a mild smile, testing the waters. She didn’t flinch, but she did offer a wry smile of her own.
“Not when you have nothing else of value, it’s not.” She tossed her shiny hair and stirred her tea, and then popped her spoon into her mouth. I stared like a voyeur, taking in her effervescent beauty. “What’s your excuse?”
I cleared my throat once more. “I’m the youngest of three sons. Both of my brothers are happily married with heirs of their own. A cyclone would have to wipe out all of Cornwall before I would inherit any property or money. I’m not talented enough to run away and join the circus, so I figured I may as well give my life to Christ.”
She blinked once more, her long eyelashes captivating me. Then she chuckled, covering her pretty mouth before bursting into another fit of delighted laughter. It was infectious, and this time, I joined her, I couldn’t help myself.
“I’m kidding. Mostly. I’ve always loved the church…the pageantry. The pomp and circumstance. And more than anything, I wanted to serve my fellow man. The ministry seemed like the most sensible way to live that type of life.”
She nodded. “I can appreciate that. I’ve always wanted to help people too.”
“Some might argue that you already do.” My quip was out before I thought better of it. Eve blanched, and her face transformed as if she’d just tasted something rancid.
“I should go.” She started to rise, but I reached out, placing my hand over hers. Her skin was as soft as silk, and I kicked myself for causing her obvious desperation to get away from me. She’d mistaken my joke as condescension, and that was an experience I was far too familiar with. I have been told by my mentor that my dry humor is often taken at face value, and I’d been simply trying to make light of the elephant in the room. This is why I’d been instructed to listen instead of talk. When the flock chose to share, close your mouth and open your ears, Bishop McDougal had always told me in my days at seminary. Don’t pry details out of God’s children, they’ll spill when their souls demand it.
“Forgive me.” It was the most I dared to say, but my regret must have been written all over my face, because her features relaxed. She took her seat again. “Please. Tell me how you came to be here, in this circumstance.”
She lifted her tea to her lips, and I noticed her trembling.
“My father produces fine balsamic vinegar. I’ve helped him sell it at market since I was very young. There was a boy in my village. The handsome son of a wealthy vineyard owner that all the girls adored. I’d been sweet on him since I was old enough to notice such things. When I blossomed, he noticed me too. He passed me letters every time we came to town. Finally, he asked me to meet him one night, in the ruins near my family’s farm after dark.”
I’d been to Italy, and I knew the countryside was scattered with ancient monuments to the false gods of our ancestors. I could picture her, creeping out of her father’s house, her dark hair trailing her in the moonlight as she hurried to rendezvous with the rakish young man whose intentions were far from pure.
“He took advantage of you,” I offered up my conclusion to her story, but she slanted her gaze in surprise. Her lip curled in a far from innocent smile and she shook her head. Shameless, she didn’t flinch from my appraisal. With a knowing arch of her brow, she issued the slightest shrug.
“I went willingly. And when he tried to be gentle, I begged him not to be. I asked him for more.” She stirred her tea, a thoughtfulness falling over her. “Tell me, Padre…if God doesn’t want us to do such things, why do you think he makes them feel so good?”
I opened my mouth to tell her it wasn’t the Lord, but Lucifer who’d had a hand in that particular design, but I stopped myself. It would have been fraud, pure and simple. I had no answers for her. Knowing from my youngest moments where my path would lead me, I’d never indulged in the sins of the flesh, not with another, anyhow. I’d never regretted that decision, as I had seen nothing but trouble come from these untoward activities. That is, until I laid eyes on Eve. She’d exposed me to the notion of desire.
Infected me with it.
“Of course, my father turned me out when I could no longer hide my condition.” She poured herself another cup of tea and then poured one for me.
