Page 13 of A New Year Baby

CHAPTER 8

Idrive to the Frost home, with my daughter in the backseat of the car. She’s holding the masterpiece of a cake I stayed up late baking and decorating. It’s funny how sometimes you glance at the clock, and it’s 4 AM, but you just can’t put down the piping bag and stop. Your body just continues moving on autopilot, like a locomotive that needs to keep going. Maybe it’s just me…

Now it’s Christmas Day, and I don’t have the bravery to go inside.

I sit parked outside the Frost house, tightly clutching my steering wheel as I watch the shadows move about inside. It looks like they already have guests.

I feel like I’m just a spectator in their lives. Stuck on the outside, looking in.

Exiled since that awful day I lost Jack.

Luna has been exclaiming with delight at every impressive display of Christmas lights we passed. The property is covered with them. It’s her first time seeing the displays, and she couldn’t be happier—even an amusement park with funnel cake and rollercoasters couldn’t bring her more joy.

“Should I give them the cake?” Luna asks me.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Give me a minute.”

“Okay, Mama.”

I sit her for a while, trying to gather my courage.

Eventually, Eve spots the car through the window, and she throws on a coat and boots to exit the house and come over to me.

I roll down one of my windows so we can talk to her, and she folds her arms on the car door.

“Hey, Stell! You made it. Why don’t you come inside?”

“I don’t think I can, Evie.”

I’m somehow close to tears.

“Why not?” she asks.

“Just a lot of memories, you know. Just a lot of pressure. Just overthinking everything. Christmas Day.”

“Stop overthinking and bring us some cake,” Eve says with a laugh. She opens the back door of my car and climbs in to sit beside Luna. She fondly tousles her hair.

“Hey, sweet girl. You want to eat a piece of that cake with us?” Eve asks.

“Definitely,” Luna says with an excited nod.

“Did Santa visit you this morning? Did he bring some goodies?” Eve asks.

“Oh yes, he’s the very best,” says Luna. “But I just missed him again. I never wake up early enough to meet him.”

“That sucks,” Eve says.

“I know,” Luna says with a pout. “But he got me all the toys I wanted, and he ate the cookies. So I guess it’s okay.”

“Stell,” Eve says gently. “She didn’t get to meet Santa today. But there’s a sweet old man in that house, and his name is Mr. Frost. And he’s the next best thing, don’t you think?”

Her grandfather. Her real grandfather.

I bite my lip.

“My dad’s not gonna live forever, Stell,” Eve says softly. “His memory is failing him lately. What do you say? Just pop in and say hello for a minute? It would mean a lot to him.”

“Can we, Mama?” Luna says with excitement. “I wanna meet the old Mister Frost if he’s anything like Santa.” I glance back at her in the rearview mirror, and her eyes are all lit up and shining at me.

---