Page 134 of Tarnished Tyrant (Zhukova Bratva 1)

My thighs really do hurt. But there's also something to this horse therapy. Sitting on top of this massive animal, it's hard to imagine there's anything I can't conquer. Anything I can't accomplish. I'm not ready to get rid of that feeling.

Especially since I know what's waiting for me when I get off.

"There's a lot of land here," Nikolai says. "We're free to explore."

The land stretches out in gentle dips and hills, a ring of glaciers along the horizon. It's green and lush and beautiful. Romantic, some might even say.

"Feels dangerous," I say softly.

He laughs. "It won't be like yesterday. No cliffs."

But that's not the kind of danger I was referring to.

Nikolai hops off his horse with ease and walks over to me. He grips my thigh with one hand and offers me his other, helping me down.

In his hands, I'm more at risk than ever of falling into a fantasy. Of forgetting what my real life looks like.

That’sthe real danger.

"Thanks," I mumble.

The moment my feet are on the ground, I take off walking. As if I can outrun this strange feeling in my chest.

Nikolai catches up to me quickly. "Where are you going?"

"Exploring. Like you said."

"Do you have any clue where you're headed?"

I stop and look around. As far as I can tell, aside from the few buildings on the farm, there are no other landmarks. Just wild countryside.

"Isn't that the point of exploring? Wandering with no destination in mind?"

"If you want to fall off another cliff, then sure.”

“I’m not blind, you know.”

“No, but you are distracted,” he says. “And that’s almost the same thing. You need to relax.”

"I am relaxed!" I lie.

Nikolai turns to me and reaches out. With him coming towards me and no idea what he has planned, I freeze. Then his hands land on my shoulders. Slowly, he pushes them down from around my ears.

At once, I feel my body unclench. A pressure inside of me releases slightly.

"This," he says, "is not relaxed. You're tense."

“I know,” I sigh. “I keep thinking about Elise. About what happened this morning. She’s my responsibility, you know? And I’m… I’m failing her.”

I glance up at Nikolai and then away, too nervous to see the way he might be looking at me.

“I know—it’s pathetic. You don’t fail at anything. I probably sound ridiculous to you. But—”

“I understand loyalty.”

Nikolai’s voice is serious. When I look up, his expression matches. His brows are pulled together, his jaw clenched.

“I understand the importance of taking care of family. I know the pressure you’re under.”

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