Page 179 of Tarnished Tyrant (Zhukova Bratva 1)

He snorts. “Free from this luxurious, safe mansion I’ve trapped you in? Yes, I’m sure everyone will be so sympathetic to your plight.”

“A gilded cage is still a cage.”

There’s no question: that's what life with Nikolai would be. I'd have a beautiful house and all the things I could ever want—wonderful trips, beautiful dresses, time and supplies to sketch and design.

But I wouldn't have the only thing that matters.

And living so close to Nikolai but not being able to have all of him… that would be the worst kind of prison. Like chaining a starving woman just out of reach of a buffet.

“Do I have to remind you that the only reason you’re here is because you refused to take care of yourself?” he snaps. “I flew to Oklahoma City. I came to your house to try and help. I could have sent Arslan to pick you up and drag you to me if that’s what I’d wanted.”

“What are we doing then?” I ask, choking back a sob. “Why bother bringing me here or coming to my house at all? It sounds like we’re both just miserable.”

“Because I will do anything to protect someone I love.”

I’m no fool. It’s the baby. He’s talking about the baby.

My heart squeezes, but the pain doesn’t take my breath away like I expect. I guess I’m getting used to Nikolai’s indifference. Maybe one day, it won’t hurt at all.

But that day isn’t today.

“I lied to you,” I blurt. “When you asked about who I’ve slept with since I last saw you, I lied.”

“Is that right?” His voice is a threat.

“Yup. I’ve had loads of sex. Lots of it. With regulars at the bar. With Roger. And Tony, too.”

Shivers move down my spine at the thought of touching any of those sweaty, alcohol-soaked scumbags. I clamp down on my molars to keep Nikolai from noticing.

“Great. Your point?”

“The baby probably isn’t even yours. The dad could be anyone. I don’t even know who. So all of this talk about responsibility and taking care of the people you love…” I wave my hand dismissively. “You can forget that. If you’re only keeping me here because of your love for your child, well then, you should know you might be doing all of this for Tony’s baby. Who even knows?”

“I never said I was doing this for the baby,” he spits.

I frown. “Yes, you did. You just said you’d do anything to protect—”

“To protect someone I love, yes,” he finishes. “But I wasn’t talking about the baby.”

I open my mouth to respond, but the words dry up as realization settles over me. I’m afraid to move and disturb the moment. Afraid it might slip away before I can grab hold.

“What?” I croak.

Nikolai doesn’t blink. His eyes are luminous, irresistible. “I wasn’t talking about the baby,” he repeats. “I was talking about you.”

44

NIKOLAI

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know they’re true. They’ve been simmering under the surface for days, weeks, months.

If I was anyone else, I’d laugh in my own face. What kind of self-destructive idiot risks decades of hard work for someone so infuriating? I can have any woman I want at the snap of my fingers. The world is mine for the taking, along with anyone in it.

But like I’ve always suspected, love is a virus. A weakness you beg for, even as it sucks you dry.

And I’m absolutely sick with it.

Belle blinks at me, stunned. Since I showed up outside the bar where she worked, she’s been all passion and indignation. Right now, though, she’s utterly blank.

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