Page 190 of Tarnished Tyrant (Zhukova Bratva 1)

He arches a brow. “Why were you in my room?”

“I, uh, I wasn’t. I just… I peeked in. When I was looking for you.”

Is it my imagination or does he look amused? After last night, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see his smile again.

“Where were you?” I add. I wonder if my cheeks are red. They feel red. I’m pretty sure they’re red.

“Out.”

All night? Where did he sleep? Part of me doesn’t want to know, but another, much more jealous part of me, wants to know everything.

“Did it have something to do with the Greeks? Did you go see Giorgos?”

He leans back and watches me. His eyes scan my face, and I feel like he can read every single one of my traitorous thoughts.

“How’s Elise?” he asks, ignoring my question.

I’ve been so focused on taking care of Elise in the long term that I almost forgot about taking care of her in the short term. The fact that Nikolai is thinking about her plucks at my heartstrings in a very dangerous way.

“She’s… actually, I don’t know. Still sleeping, I think. I haven’t talked to her yet.”

He crosses his ankles, relaxing back. “I hope I didn’t traumatize her too much.”

“I hope so, too. But kids are supposed to be resilient, right?”

I’m not worried about Elise, to be honest. She’s made of tougher stuff than I am. I’m actually hopingI’llbe resilient. Every time I close my eyes, I see brains splattered on the car window.

“I was,” he says. “I saw my grandfather kill a man when I was eight. And look at me now—no emotional baggage in sight.”

My eyes must be bugging out of my head because Nikolai elaborates. “Taking me along on a collection run was his idea of bonding, I think. He didn’t plan for it to get deadly, but he didn’t coddle me after it happened, either. I was expected to be okay with it.”

“And were you?”

He shrugs. “It was all I knew.”

I blow out a breath. “That’s… that’s crazy, Nikolai.”

“That’s life,” he says. “You do whatever it takes to get ahead, to protect the people you love, and to get what you want. It’s brutal, but it’s how you—”

“Love. It’s how you show love.”

Nikolai looks at me with the same searching expression he wore after he told me he loved me. Last time, I was rooted to the floor, struck dumb with shock.

But now, I sink to my knees in front of him.

His silver eyes turn molten. He curls his fingers in my hair as I unbutton his pants with trembling fingers. As I stroke his growing erection and take him in my mouth, questions swirl in the back of my mind. Is this part of my cover? Am I doing this to distract him from the fact I was snooping around his office?

Or is there another reason?

The truth is pounding against my ribcage.

I want him.

I love him.

Nikolai groans his pleasure as I swirl my tongue over his tip. I lick and suck, working him until his strong thighs flex under my fingers.

He grabs my hair and pulls me away gently. As soon as I stand up, he grips my waist and turns, setting me on the edge of his desk.

---