Page 52 of The Spiral

Chapter 18

Madeline

I don’t know what’s happening. These are people I’ve found in here—three of them, all shivering and scared of anything that moves. Certainly Jack. And the smell is disgusting, as if they’ve been in here for weeks, months even. Urine, faeces. The tell-tale reek of vomit. It’s enough that my eyes are watering and I’m having to hold my breath just to be able to pull in a quick gulp of oxygen when I can.

They’re so quiet, all of them, barely anything but skin and bones between them. Blood is scattered across their bodies, along with filth and grime that seems imprinted on them. It’s sickening to witness, but Jack says they’re responsible for Selma’s death in some way. That the three of them murdered her along with their son. If that’s true, they probably deserve everything they’ve got, but it’s still not right.

The taller one hovers on the floor by my feet, only the bars separating us as the keys I picked up twitch in my hands. He’s told me to open the doors, but I don’t know if I should or not by the look of this one’s eyes. They’re rabid, uncertain. I noticed them when he flew at me, sending me reeling into the corner in fear.

“It’s okay,” I whisper down at him, crouching and considering offering my hand in the hope he’ll be gentle. “I’m going to get you out of here now.”

Jack scoffs behind me, making me turn to glare at his mocking laughter.

“You always were too kind, baby.” His words hit home more than I’d like to admit. Too kind. Always giving someone a second chance, always giving Lewis a second chance.

Lewis.

I stand up, turning to look at the door for the first time since I found this room. He’s here, down those stairs somewhere, isn’t he? I walk towards the door and put my ear to it, listening for his whereabouts.

“Ballroom,” Jack mutters, sitting on the table and staring at the picture I handed back to him.

I gaze at him, bemused by his apparent boredom. I don’t understand why he isn’t scared. He should be. This is Lewis we’re talking about. If he’s found me, he’ll be livid with Jack for being here, ready to kill him for harbouring me, let alone touching me. He saw what Lewis did to my home.

“Don’t you care?”

“About what?”

“Lewis.”

“No, you have your dogs. A gun in your pocket. Make them all work for you, baby.”

Baby? When did that start to feel so comfortable?

He said it down at the treehouse, and earlier than that, called me it as we made love. It feels so familiar, so ground in. Like it’s been used a thousand times and acknowledged with the smile that wants to break across my lips. Still I stare, unsure what I should do. Perhaps I should just go down and talk to Lewis, try to smooth things over and then go back with him. It’s not like I can stay here forever. I never could have, no matter how appealing the thought. I’ve only ever been here to find myself, work out how to get even or just carry on trying to live my life again.

I dig into my pocket, feeling for the gun, and let the cold metal mould into my grip. It’s as uncomfortable as it’s always been. I’m not built for this. I’m not whatever this place is turning me into. I just want my peaceful life again. I want the laughter I wished for, the love I was beginning to feel again for life, even if it was with a man I don’t really know.

I stare at him, wondering where Selma’s gone from my mind. She’d be doing what he says, wouldn’t she? She’d know how to feel about these men in front of me, perhaps feel the vengeance he so vehemently does. But I’m not her, and this isn’t right, unless it is.

I’m so confused.

“Jack, this is stupid. I’m just going to go talk to him, work it out.” He raises a brow at me, nothing more, then slides himself from the table and walks closer to me.

“You think that will make your life freer?”

A noise comes from below us somewhere, footsteps along the hall maybe. They’re coming for the spiral, aren’t they? Lewis is. He’s coming to get me, make me go back with him.

Save yourself, Maddy. Home.

I half jump at her voice in my head, shaking it to try to find what I want in this situation, as I look at the floor waiting for frost. Maddy, she’s always called me that, pulling me back to who I was before Lewis. I shake my head again, knowing I’ll never be Maddy again. Too many bruises made her leave. Too many nights in pain.

“My life will be simpler, Jack. I’ll talk to him, make him see that…”

The room goes darker, stopping my mouth from voicing my thoughts, shadows looming where the light filtered in slightly until it’s almost pitch black. I glance at the men when one of them moans and whines at something, his feet pacing the cage, worried about what’s scared them.

“You know better than that, baby. It will only be simpler when he’s dead.” Jack brushes a finger over my cheek suddenly, warming me into thinking he’s actually touching me, but he’s not. He’s touching her, loving her. “We can be together again then. Just you and me. In this home you made for us.” The way the words come make me feel anything but me. They remind me of the haunting memories that come when she’s near us, the cold creeping my bones and telling me this is all okay. “You remember it all, don’t you?” I do. He’s right. And the more he talks, the more I forget the stench in the room, somehow lifting myself above it as if it’s just a mere piece of a puzzle that needs solving so we can both move on. “You remember our wedding night? The way I caressed your stomach?” Oh god, I do. I can feel it now as he presses a hand against me in the same spot, his other hand wrapping around my back. “It’s all down to you now, baby. It’s all in your hands.” I can’t stop gazing at his mouth, the words somehow deepening my feelings for him rather than Selma’s. And she’s here with us again now. I can feel her whispering across my skin, showing me a way that’s not mine. “Just let the dogs out, baby. Let them work for us and then we’ll both be free. Kill him.”

“Kill.” The word mumbles from me, my hand still gripped around the gun in my pocket as I stare into the stormy eyes I first saw when I tumbled down the front steps. It seems so long ago now, like he’s another person, too. He’s so much softer like this. Calmer. But it’s whenever she’s here. That’s what changes him. For both of us. She makes this work, makes us fit together, and I’m not her.

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