Page 91 of Forbidden Eyes

“Hey, you don’t talk like that," she says, hugging me tighter. "Don’t assume he was using you. You’ve done nothing wrong here, and you can’t cast doubts. They will eat you alive and do you no good.” Her tone is stern, like she’s trying to embed her words in me.

“I get that, and maybe in time I’ll see that, but right now it’s really tough.”

“Oh, sweetie. Young love is hard.”

“You know that makes you sound really old.”

I try to lighten the mood and raise my eyes to look at her face. She has a sad smile, and I wonder if she’s thinking about me or a love she had when she was my age. She’s never talked about her past, certainly in no detail.

“Thanks, baby, for pointing that out.”

We sit in comfortable silence, as she gently strokes her fingers through my hair, soothing and calming me. The exhaustion that’s been plaguing me sweeps over me like a blanket, and I don’t resist when my eyes drift shut.

“Does it always hurt?” I ask, snuggling into her and wondering if the ache in my chest is only because Carter is my first love.

“What, baby?”

“Does your chest ache—physically hurt inside you when you’re in love?” I’ve never felt more than platonic affection for any of the boys at school before, and now I feel stupid, like the child I wish everyone would see has grown up hasn't materialised at all.

“You still think you’re in love with him?”

“How can I answer that when I don’t know if it was love at all?”

She sighs and keeps rubbing her fingers through my hair, curling her body around me some more. “I think you love him, sweetie. After everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve done for him, you’re just protecting your heart.”

I nod against her, fighting the next wave of tears. I know what she’s not saying. I must love him otherwise I would never have shot at my dad.

“Love comes in all different shapes and sizes," she says. "It can be harsh and cruel, twisting you up inside. But it can also give you hope beyond anything else. It can drive you forward, keep you fighting and fill you with unrivalled happiness, but even when it's good it can still hurt." She squeezes me, enveloping me and making some of the pain subside. "And, you know, my love story isn’t a romance novel. Neither is Uncle Quinn’s, or Nate and Gabby's. We all have our own path to follow and love to find, but we make sure it’s worth the journey. Always. We hope for it.”

She doesn't say anything more and I let my mind race over everything it wants. Of course, it focuses on Carter and everything he did and said to me. How can he mean we’re over? How could he do that to me? I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, determined to let sleep claim me. Perhaps I’ll wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened. That's what my mind keeps telling me, even if my heart won't accept it.

* * *

“Morning, Aunt Emily.”

“Morning, sweetheart. There’s fresh coffee and breakfast things in the kitchen.”

I nod and go to grab a cup of coffee, walking quietly behind Uncle Nate and Mom as I go. Their heads are crowded over a tablet screen, Nate’s fingers skipping over the projected keyboard in front of him. Mom frowns at what’s on the screen, making me wonder what they’re up to.

“Hi,” I offer, ready to gauge their reactions.

Both heads pop up to stare at me. Mom’s face softens into a calm smile, no hint of the puzzled look she just wore.

“Can I get you anything?” She’s out of her seat and grabbing the coffee immediately. Nate closes down whatever they were working on before addressing me.

“Morning. I'll send you that info over,Hope. A live feed?”

“That would be great.”

He leaves, and so I turn to Mom, who quickly pushes the cup into my hand. “How did you sleep? You were dead to the world this morning.”

“Yeah. Guess I needed it.” I sit in the vacant seat and wait for her to tell me what’s going on.

“So, I’m not sure what our plans are really, but seeing as everyone’s here, it would be nice to spend some time with your aunts.”

“What’s going on?”

The coffee cup she's lifting to her mouth stops, eyes looking anywhere but at me.

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