Page 202 of Ripped Veil (Ripped Bratva)

The thought feels illogical but why else would he be standing in front of me now, looking as though he’s genuinely glad to see me? Nothing’s adding up. Maybe I’m the one who got hit in the head, not him.

“Elyssa,” he says tenderly, “you know how I care for you. How much I always cared for you.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t quite know what I’m apologizing for. I’m just so confused. Everything about Josiah—his kind eyes, his soft smile, even the friendly clasp of his hands behind his back—has the look of the man who raised all of us here in the Sanctuary. Our shepherd. Our leader. The one who taught us right from wrong, good from evil, holy from sinful.

So why do I want to run from him?

The answers are locked away somewhere inside my head. And they refuse to step into the light.

“Don’t be sorry, Elyssa,” Josiah says, taking a step towards me. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

My eyes linger on the burn marks racing up and down his arm like pale vines.

He sees me looking. “They don’t hurt, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he offers. “Nothing hurts anymore. The powers that be took all my pain away.”

I nod, trembling. “That’s good.”

He seems to be inching closer to me. My body rails against the proximity. I could run; Ishouldrun.

But I can’t. I have so many questions.

How are you alive?

What happened that night?

Who sent me the swan and why?

I glance towards the sun-bleached wall behind me, the one that separates the Sanctuary from the rest of the sin-riddled world. I wonder if Vlad would be able to hear me if I screamed.

“Elyssa, my little doe, you seem upset,” Josiah croons. “Is there something I can do or say to put your mind at ease? Or perhaps I could just listen. If we share our burdens, they no longer feel quite so heavy.”

I try and steady myself against the onslaught of dizziness. And then, out of nowhere, a new question pops into my head. Different from all the rest.

What would Phoenix do?

He wouldn’t do what I was right on the verge of doing: spilling everything, showing my whole hand, believing in the goodness of people and the purity of Father Josiah’s soul.

He would say that men are evil. Powerful men doubly so.

He would say to trust no one.

And he would be right.

I search for a lie. A way out of here, this unreal place I never should have returned to. “I… I came back…”

Why did I come back?

Closure.That’s what I’d told Vlad in the car. It was true then. It’s true now.

“I came back to say goodbye,” I finish.

The words come out in a huge exhale. It’s taken me a long time to find the strength to recognize certain things about this place. But I’m not that naïve girl anymore. I’m not willing to believe everything I’m told, everything I’m shown.

I’ve seen enough out in the real world to know now that things are not always what they seem. There’s an underbelly to everything in life.

And you can’t allow yourself to be fooled by the surface.

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