Page 57 of Ripped Lace (Ripped Bratva)

Sure. Make me. I’m not really here, babe.

I sigh in frustration and run my hands over my face. Then I swing my legs off the bed and get to my feet. I’m desperate to see Theo, but after last night, I’m not sure I ever will. I just have to breathe through it. I know he’s safe, wherever he is—for all his faults, Phoenix would never hurt an innocent child. But the mere fact that he’s not here with me is enough to have me teetering on the edge of another panic attack.

Stop being a negative Nancy. You’ll see Theo.

“When?”

Keep the faith.

I stare out the window, searching for any sign of my son. Of Phoenix. Of anything at all, really.

I hate that I still seek him out. I hate that seeing him still gives me some measure of comfort.

You’re falling for him, that’s why.

“He’s a monster.”

But he’syourmonster. The first man you clung to. The first man you put your faith in. He saved you that first night when you came to Las Vegas.

“He’s not the same man he was then.”

Grief can do strange things to a person. I mean, look at you… you’re talking to a ghost that doesn’t exist.

“I’m talking to myself,” I whisper.

Sometimes, survival means compromising the rules of reality. You do whatever you have to get by.

“Okay, sensei…”

I imagine Charity’s chuckle and my heart squeezes with the pain of her absence. I might not have felt so lonely if she’d been here with me in the flesh.

Through the haze of thought, I hear footsteps approaching my room. I turn around just as the door opens…

And Leona walks in with Theo in her arms.

I can’t help screaming. “Theo!” I cry, rushing forward and lifting him from Leona’s arms. “Oh, thank God!”

Is it possible he’s grown in the few days since I last saw him? I hold him close, dropping kisses everywhere. On his cheeks, his forehead, his little button nose. I inhale his scent, wondering if it’s changed or if I have.

“My boy,” I breathe. “My sweet boy.”

He gurgles up at me and I realize that I don’t even need to support his head anymore. He can do it all by himself. When did that even happen?

Leona takes a seat on the chaise lounge seat by the window and kicks her feet up.

“He’s been fussy the whole morning,” she tells me. “This is the first time he’s settled down.”

I shoot her a glare. “I wonder why,” I reply. “Being separated from your mother can’t be easy for a baby.”

She raises her hands as though I’m holding a gun at her head. “Hey, I don’t make the rules.”

“No, you follow them. Like everyone else in this place.”

She doesn’t seem at all put off by my anger. In fact, she almost seems amused by it. “I gotta earn a living, don’t I?”

“Ever heard of waitressing?”

“The tips here are better,” she replies. “So’s the eye candy.”

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