Page 9 of Ripped Lace (Ripped Bratva)

I nod slowly, swallowing my tears.Just be patient, I tell myself.Wait for tonight.

“Yes,” I say out loud. “I understand.”

You can cry about it then.

3

Elyssa

The Next Day

Mama’s hands are deft as she snaps my veil in place and folds it down over my face. Instantly, I feel both claustrophobic and terrified.

I’ve been here before, haven’t I? Trapped like this. Hooded like this, like a prisoner being led to the guillotine. It took a miracle to get me out. So how have I managed to find myself in the same position again—with the same exact man, no less?

Breathe, Lys.

It’s Charity’s voice in my head, of course. I’ve heard her ever since I set foot back on the Sanctuary. Calming me, comforting me, telling me I’m doing the right thing.

Remember when you’re here,she says.Remember why you chose this.

I turn around, searching for my reason. Searching for my son. But as usual, he’s been whisked away by one of Josiah’s many nannies.

“Mama, where’s—”

“I never thought I’d see this day,” Mama interrupts. She takes a step back so she can cast a critical eye over me. “Hopefully, once you’re married, people will stop talking.”

I sigh and swallow my question. “You’re expecting too much, Mama,” I say softly. “They’ll never stop talking about me.”

“Do you know how your father and I lived the last year?” she asks. “Do you know how people looked at us.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Save it. ‘Sorry’ won’t remove the stain we have to carry because of what you did. Words are nothing without the deeds to match. If you had just stayed here where you belonged, then everything would have been…”

“Please stop, Mama,” I say, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. “Please just stop.”

“You are lucky he took you back at all,” she hisses, ignoring my plea. Her eyes flash dangerously. “A lesser man would have made you suffer for the sins you wrought.”

“Mysins? Tell me you’re joking.”

“Why did you come back?” Mama hisses. “If you hate him so much? If you hate us so much?”

“Because my son needs security,” I hiss right back at her. “And I’d do anything to keep my child safe. If only you knew how that felt.”

She stiffens and pales. “Then do it without complaint,” she says eventually. “Get rid of the fight in you. Swallow your feelings and get on with it. This is not the way I raised you. Now, are you ready or not?”

I feel my entire body shudder as she speaks.Get rid of the fight; swallow your feelings—it’s a direct contrast to everything Charity used to say to me.

Cry when you’re sad.

Laugh when you’re happy.

Fuck when you’re horny.

I shake those thoughts from my head.

Remember why you came back here in the first place,I tell myself.You couldn’t make it out there in the real world. Not without Charity. Not without Phoenix. This is where you belong.

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