Page 111 of Fury

“You don’t have to remember me,” I replied.

I often wished people didn’t.

“I want to,” he said, his tone playful, easy. “Aside from the fact that you’re incredibly pretty and totally hot, it’s so good to have a normal conversation for a change.”

I tossed the safety pins onto my worktable and held his gaze. “Yeah, normal is nice, isn’t it?”

“Sure is. Let’s do some normal together.” He stepped closer to me, his lips tipping up. “What’s your name, you beautiful, unforgettable girl?”

I let out a tiny breath, my face heating. “My name’s Lenore.”

31

As promised, I’d gotten outof jail early after having delivered all my Silver Crows intel along the way. Over the three years I was inside, I’d created an actual bond with their Prez and VP, which I kept to myself.

I’d learned a lot of things in prison.

Jail was rough, it was shit, but it made me rely on myself more than anything ever had. For three years I’d been stripped not only of any external power and control but also of my own ideas of the power and control I’d always assumed I had over things, over people, situations. Letting go was gut wrenching, but illuminating. Accepting this from early on had only made me realize the bitter truth that the only things we really do have control over in this life are our own selves, our actions. Essentials.

Others dictated when I slept, where I slept, who I lived with, what work I did, what I ate. There was plenty of sliced white bread too, and I had to steel myself in its presence. I did it, considering it another form of daily exercise along with the five hundred push ups I did to keep my hands and arms strong. I’d read books that I’d never otherwise gotten a chance to read, I made new alliances, new enemies. I had brutally honest conversations for the first time in a very long time.

Keeping organized and clean, fit and strong, was my way of exercising the control I did have; my routine, my success. Some read the Bible, others took education courses, some got obsessed with chess or fitness. Whatever I was engaged in, I used my time wisely to expand my consciousness of myself and stay sharp.

You got a lot of time on your hands in prison, time to panic, time to think, time to worry, to obsess, to be angry. Time also stands still for the prisoner. Somehow we believe that when we get out, everything—friends, family, work—will be the same way we’d left it. But over these past three years the world kept on moving without me, and at a clip that was almost incomprehensible.

The day I got out, my one thought was getting to Serena. Drac and Slade met me on the outside, bringing me my old Heritage Softail. My hand shook as it stroked over the saddle. I hadn’t ridden in three whole years. A lifetime. We went to Chicago, and after one night on the town together, I told them I needed a couple weeks on my own before going home. They returned to Nebraska, and I headed to Tania’s. I’d had Rhys keep an eye out for Serena, but after the first few weeks, he’d told me she’d disappeared. I’d told myself she was being cautious now that I was in jail, leaving no clues behind.

I found Tania. She blinked at seeing me in her doorway.

“What?”

She shrugged. “You look different. Bigger, meaner.”

“I’ve been inside for three years, Tania.”

“I know. Come in. ”

I went in.

Her eyes went to my colors. “You on your way back to Nebraska now, to your club?”

“Yeah, of course, but I wanted to see her first. Got to see her. And I can’t find her.”

Tania’s lips pressed together. “I don’t know where she is. She left town after you got arrested. We kept in touch in the beginning, but I haven’t heard from her in over three and a half years now.”

“Jesus. She’s protecting you by keeping away.”

I couldn’t find any trace of “Ashley Wyeth” anywhere, and neither could Rhys. Had she gotten a new name and ID?

“You remember that friend of hers, Ciara?” I asked Tania.

“I do.”

“You got her number?”

“I used to. I’ll look.” Tania found Ciara’s phone number in an old notebook and called her, asking if she’d heard from “Ashley” and if she knew where she was.

Tania listened and made a face at me. “All right, sorry to bother you. Thanks anyway.”