Page 160 of Fury

“No.”

I took my hand back. “Then you should go.”

“It’s so easy for you, isn’t it?” His voice seethed. “Keeping things between us on a leash.”

“I like things the way they are. Whenever I don’t want to change them, you get mad.”

“I get mad because I don’t get it, I don’t get you.”

“You don’t need to get me,” I said sharply.

Tricky pulled back as if I’d slapped him. He took in a tight breath and leaned in close to me, his eyes stabbing me with anger. “Any woman would be real excited to get away for the weekend with the man she’s sleeping with. But you? It’s like your skin starts crawling.”

I crossed my legs, averting my gaze. I’d tried to convince myself that I could take things with Tricky a little extra further, like him staying over the whole weekend and not just one or two nights a week. But that asphyxiated feeling would come over me. Last week he’d insisted I attend a club function with him, and I’d refused. We’d argued.

“You’re exaggerating. We discussed this from the beginning. I wasn’t supposed to be your girlfriend or your old lady.”

“Supposed to be, supposed to be. Why can’t it just progress into whatever it could be? What the hell? You hit the brakes at every turn.”

“Maybe you should be with someone who wants a full relationship. A woman who could give you a family one day.”

“I don’t give a shit about all that.”

“You should. You say that now, but a little bit down the road that will probably change for you. You’re at the age when you need to take into account your future. Not just think about what you want now.”

“I see the bigger picture, and it has you in it. I don’t care about kids and stuff,” Tricky spit out. “Jesus, Lenore. Every time I take a few steps forward, you automatically pull back. It’s pissing me off.”

“That’s a problem. I’m sorry, but I can’t give what you want.”

“Shit, woman! Why can’t you just go with it?”

Done.

I pushed my chair back. “I’m leaving.”

“No, stay.” He gripped my arm.

I shoved him off me.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Lenore. I really don’t.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

The waitress came over with another round for our table. Jill shot me a concerned look as Lock, Grace, and Boner talked with Allen who’d come to our table.

“Let’s have another drink and relax,” Tricky said, grabbing two bottles of beer, sliding them in front of us.

“Okay.”

He let out a breath. “Okay.”

But I didn’t drink. I stared at the bottle. I stared beyond the bottle, across the table, and admired Grace and Jill’s relaxed faces, their laughter. They deserved to be happy. Lock and Boner deserved to be happy. Tricky, definitely.

I’d had my taste of deep happiness a long time ago, but it was over, and I was okay with that. I was good with what I had now. Over the years, I’d trained myself to be content and it showed on the outside. Chained my hunger, caged the wildcat. But that wildcat was restless, unsatisfied. Starving. Hungry for the one thing she could never have again.

Provoke her, she’d bite.

46

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