Page 2 of Purrfectly Mated

FML.

How was this guy Elissa’s date for the evening? What had she done to deserve this?

Little Gianni. Yup, that was how he’d introduced himself. And here she was. On a blind date with a guy who had the word ‘little’ in front of his name.

Well, what did she expect?Roses and champagne? In this economy? She didn’t know where Cinder-fucking-ella got her prince, but it sure as fuck wasn’t in Jersey.

Elissa could only blame herself for agreeing to go on this blind date. Initially, the whole Little Gianni fiasco had been intended for her roommate.

Wait a second. Scratch that thought.

Itwasall Gretchen’s fault. That ungrateful cow!

She tried to play it off like she was some sweet little homegrown maiden. Oh, just wait till Elissa got home. Gretchen was never going to hear the end of it.

She owed Elissa. Big time. Like a whole month of washing the dishes big time. The rat trap they shared in her hometown of Hoboken was all the two women could afford, and for the most part, they got along just fine.

In fact, they’d grown to be close friends over the three years they’d lived together. It was the only reason she’d ever agreed to this date from Hell.

Elissa sighed and looked over at Little Gianni. Maybe he wasn’t all that bad?

"BEEEELLLLLLLCHHH!’Scuse me, doll. Better out, am I right?”

Gianni winked and Elissa wished for a black hole to open up and swallow her up right through the floor.

OMFG.

The man just burped out loud like he was in a frat boy belching contest, only those days passed him up about thirty years ago.

For fuck’s sake. Gretchen, you so owe me.

Elissa cursed her roommate and tried not to groan. But Little Gianni wasn’t quite done. The grown ass man lifted his leg and let one rip.

Right. Fucking. There.

Elissa was going to die before the end of the night.

Literally.

This is what you get when you do a friend a favor without asking for details! Idiota!

The voice of her Italian grandmother sounded in her brain. She tried to ignore it, willing herself not to wince at the man while he sucked air, and who knows what else, noisily through his coffee-stained teeth.

Ew. So gross.

That was the perfect word to describe it. The only word, in fact. The entire date was just so fucking gross. She still couldn’t believe her sweet little roommate from Iowa,Gretchen Kaepernick, she of the wispy hair and baby blues, had set her up with this guy!

What the actual fuck was up with that?

Little Gianni was a slob. Actually, he looked just like her Uncle Nico, and that was not a good thing. Seriously, not good at all.

He wore his hair slicked back in a too tight ponytail that emphasized his rapidly receding hairline. As if that wasn’t enough to put her off, he was sporting an enormous paunch. Now, being a curvy girl, Elissa appreciated food and was in no way against men showing the same appreciation.

She liked bigger men. Always had. But bigger did not mean you had to be sloppy. Little Gianni’s stomach was literally hanging out from under a tight tan golf shirt that had definitely seen better days.

The man didn’t even look like he had ever played a sport of any kind. With it, he wore brown polyester pants that were three inches above his ankles and unbuttoned at the waist.

He didn’t look like he tried at all for this date. What kind of guy did that? His shirt collar was bent and wrinkled, and all three buttons were open to his chest, revealing a mat of oily, dark hair and pimples.

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