Page 2 of X My Heart

It is getting darker by the minute, and I’m tired and anxious at the same time. I stop at a motel a couple miles from Jay’s house to crash for the night. I’ll knock on his door in the morning. At least if I surprise him, he won’t be able to run away.

Staring in the dirty bathroom mirror, I take a deep breath. My ringtone, “Free Bird,” a song by Lynyrd Skynyrd, echoes through the bathroom. My best friend’s picture pops up on the screen, making me smile.

“Hey, honey,” Tim says as I answer the FaceTime call.

“Hey,” I return, walking into my room and plopping down on the bed.

He brushes a hand over his buzz cut. “Can’t believe you went through with it,” he says, but I pick up on the concern in his voice. I try to give him my best fake smile, but the moment I see his red-rimmed eyes I break, and the floodgates open.

“Oh, Sky,” he whispers. “I’m taking the first flight out.”

“You don’t have to. I’m busy having a pity party over here,” I joke, trying to smile through my tears.

“I’m coming anyway, so don’t try to convince me otherwise,” he promises.

“Thank you, Timmy,” I say softly.

“Call me if you need anything. I’ll be there by the end of the week. Need to go to a couple of business meetings first. I’ve been talking to a guy from Nashville who’s been experimenting with a new strain of medical marijuana,” he explains.

“I’ll text you the address.” I tuck my long hair behind my ear. “Can’t believe I’m back in California. I was never interested in Jay’s dreams. Maybe I should have listened to him instead of being an uninterested asshole teenager.”

I grab my iPad and tap on dad’s website I’ve still got open, and scroll through the pictures on his site of the riders he trains.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things fell apart. Hell, life happened. I’m proud of you for taking the first step,” Tim says.

“Maybe he doesn’t even want to see me.” Spotting a set of the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life I stop scrolling.

“You okay? You’re biting your lip like you do when you see something you like.” Tim laughs.

I quickly scan the guy’s bio. Apparently, his name is Hunter and he’s been defending his champion title for a couple of years. “I’m looking at Jay’s website,” I murmur.

“Checking out the merchandise?” Tim asks, excitement ringing through his voice, while he boots up his laptop. “Let me get with the program.”

I stare at Hunter’s picture some more. Damn, the guy is hot with his dark hair falling in front of his eyes and tattoos covering the better part of his neck.

“Wow, hon, you didn’t tell me that Drew guy was hot,” he drawls, the dimples in his cheeks popping. “The bad boy isn’t half bad either.”

“What bad boy?” I ask.

“The dude with the tats and crazy shaved hair. Maybe you should reenact one of those romance novels you like to read, and fuck the stepbrother you never had?” he replies drily.

“Screw you,” I laugh. “I’m here to reconnect with Jay, not get some fling going.” I shut my mouth, biting on the inside of my cheek.

“Sky, come on,” he says.

“I need to go, Tim, I’m beat,” I say wiping my eyes with my sleeve. “Talk to you later, okay?”

“I’m here for you,” he whispers.

“I know.” I smile, blowing him a kiss before I end the call.

Scrolling through the pictures of Jay and his riders, I twirl the necklace around my finger. I pull it over my head and hold the pendant in the palm of my hand. He used to tell me the silver bird reflected all his dreams, the promises he couldn’t keep. I grab my phone and press play. “Free Bird” fills the room. I’ve been listening to the track for the last couple of months. First, I hated the song because each line reminded me of Jay. I spent months, no years, waiting for him to visit, or pick up the phone, not counting the five-minute calls on my birthday. He was always on the track or traveling the world, creating this whole other family, and forgetting about me.

Leaning against the headboard, I close my eyes, singing along with the lyrics and cradling the necklace in my hand. I stop singing, and my face is wet from my tears. And I know I made a big mistake coming here, because no one can ever change.

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