Page 7 of Cougar

Emerson

Present day

“Today we gather to celebrate the life of Marcus Alexander King,” Pastor Solomon begins.

A celebration of life is what Marcus wanted instead of a funeral. To me, a celebration of life is still a funeral, though one without a casket because he wanted to be cremated.

Call me cynical, but I don’t want to celebrate my husband’s life. I want to mourn his death. I want to lock myself in my bedroom, cry and scream and maybe punch something. Because I’m fucking angry.

Instead, I’m sitting in a church, wearing a two-thousand-dollar dress and a ridiculous hat that I’ll never wear again, pretending to celebrate the life of a man who died an ugly death.

But today isn’t about what I want. It’s about what Marcus wanted and what our daughter needs. Today is about giving our family and friends the chance to say goodbye.

Marcus and I were married just four months shy of twenty-two years. He was an amazing husband and father, but even more, he worked hard and became one of the most famous yet humbled rock stars in the world. Not only as the front man for Royal Mayhem, but for his other accomplishments as well. Marcus founded King Records, plucking striving artists from dive bars and even YouTube. He produced one of the biggest talent shows,America’s Voice, and he founded a charity called the Mayhem Foundation, geared toward putting music back into schools.

Which is why I’ll never understand how such an incredible man, who worked hard and loved harder, was handed a death sentence and left to suffer while the world crawled with scum who deserved so much worse.

Life can be cruel.

Fate can be a sadistic bitch.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more we can do.”Dr. Singh’s words play on a loop in my head. Two years ago, Marcus and I walked into Dr. Singh’s office looking for answers.

The exhaustion.

The headaches.

The dizzy spells.

The confusion.

The result? A brain tumor.

And after months of aggressive chemotherapy, all we got was a sympathetic“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more we can do.”

Words I never expected to hear.

Words no one ever wants to hear.

Words that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

“How long?” Marcus asked, squeezing my hand.

“A year. Give or take,” Dr. Singh replied.

Marcus was never one to play by anyone’s rules but his own. He died eighteen months later.

“Jayla,” Pastor Solomon calls on my daughter, and with a nod, he adds, “Whenever you’re ready.”

My gaze turns to Jayla, our seventeen-year-old daughter who goes by Jay. She stands and gracefully makes her way up the steps to the stage, dressed in a black, knee-length fitted dress with her dark hair in a high ponytail. Pastor Solomon pulls her in for a brief hug, then moves to the side as Jay steps up to stand in front of the podium.

She pauses to compose herself before addressing the congregation. “Thank you all for coming today, and for your continued love and support throughout the last few months. It means a lot to me and my family.” She scans the front row where our family and extended family sits. “I could stand up here for hours and talk about Marcus King, the incredibly talented musician, singer, songwriter, producer, and headstrong businessman. But if you’re here today, then you already know those things about him. So, instead I want to tell you about Marcus King, my dad.”

A sad smile pulls at my lips, recalling a time when I didn’t think Marcus would ever become a dad.

Jayla was our miracle baby. After three years of marriage and multiple attempts at getting pregnant, we’d just about given up. It was mentally and physically exhausting, and I couldn’t handle the disappointment on Marcus’s face every time a pregnancy test turned up negative or I miscarried. Marcus did his best to mask his disappointment by reminding me how much fun it would be to try again, and I loved him for it. But I knew he wanted a family, and I hated myself for not being able to give him one.

And just when we were ready to accept that a baby wasn’t going to happen for us, our miracle happened, and nine months later, Jayla Mackenzie King came into our lives.

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