Page 32 of The Billionaire Offer
Somewhere inside me, a voice screamed about how much of a hypocrite I was being right now since I was bottling up all my feelings for him, but that wasn’t quite true. I’d still been trying to work everything out for myself. It wouldn’t have helped either of us if I’d gone and blurted out half-baked thoughts and maybes about how I might feel.
One thing that I knew for sure as we drove away from the park was that I had to find a way to show him how I really felt about him now that I knew. Another thing that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was that as much as I needed the money, I also just neededhimin my life.
By the time we were approaching the city, I’d decided that I was done with bottling it up. I was going to plan my own surprise bucket-list experience for him. It wouldn’t be as extravagant as a trip to Iceland on a private jet and I couldn’t afford a balloon ride either, but something didn’t need to be expensive to be meaningful. Although I still had some planning ahead of me, an idea was starting to take root in my mind, and I’d be damned if I didn’t see it through.
CHAPTER21
BART
Acouple days later, I got home from a workout and walked straight to my bathroom to take a shower. I’d never been one of those people who couldn’t go without having a gym nearby, but exercise was helping me focus my thoughts at the moment and I’d started going a lot more regularly since we’d gotten back from Iceland.
I’d had a bunch more meetings with my financial advisor, and my head was still spinning with all the information he’d given me. It turned out there was a lot more to being a billionaire than I’d thought, and Jeremiah thought it was hilarious that I was only figuring it out now, but he’d grown up with all this shit.
Besides, since the vast majority of my money was brand new, I still had a lot to figure out about what I wanted to do with it. There were so many investment options and opportunities out there that it gave me a headache just thinking about it all, but slowly, my team and I were working our way through them and making the decisions that needed to be made.
Which was all very well and fine. I wanted to be responsible with the money, but I also wanted to be generous. My people were starting to understand that, and soon, I was hoping we’d be able to stop meeting so regularly.
In the meantime, after my talk with Serenity about what I wanted to do with my future, I’d also realized that selling the company didn’t mean I had to give up participating in e-sports. I loved it, and it was one of my greatest passions in my life. Since I was also pretty good at it, it was something I’d really missed doing recently.
Part of living my life after Dad’s death was planning something for the long-term. Traveling was great and all, but as I’d told her, it wasn’t something I wanted to do indefinitely. I couldn’t make a life out of traveling, though I knew there were many people who did.
I just didn’t want to be one of those people.
E-sports was one of the things I’d dedicated my life to thus far, and it made me happy. While I would definitely still get involved in charity work, I’d decided to keep participating in tournaments as well. There were a couple of other things surrounding the industry that I wanted to look into, and I was feeling a lot more focused again now, which was fucking awesome.
Ever since I’d decided to throw caution to the wind and pursue the bucket list, I’d been feeling like I was just drifting around while waiting for the next trip. As exciting as planning the trips was, it hadn’t given me that sense of purpose I’d realized had gone missing.
A while back, when Tanner had been going through this, I hadn’t realized the full extent of how depressing it was to feel adrift. Now, however, I finally got it. Thankfully, I had not only one, but two anchors to grab hold of in this particular storm. E-sports and Serenity, and while I’d taken to practicing for the next tournament, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The girl dominated my thoughts during my waking hours and kept showing up in my dreams. All I’d been able to think about recently was her, and not just because she was the one who’d made me realize that it was okay to keep dreaming, to keep planning for the future I wanted beyond the bucket list, and to feel the way I had been feeling.
Those things played a part in me not being able to stop thinking about her, but it was about so much more than that. As the warm spray of water washed over me, she took up her position front and center in my head again.
Since I’d gotten so used to her being there, I didn’t even try to push her away. In fact, I invited these thoughts about her now. I’d developed a slight obsession with my ex and I was perfectly okay with it.
Standing there in the shower, I remembered how she’d felt pressed up against me in that hot-air balloon and the thrill I’d gotten when I’d bought the engagement package for the ride. I remembered the look in her eyes when she’d realized what we were going to be spending the afternoon doing and the way she’d tasted when we’d kissed under the Northern Lights.
Groaning when I realized I was rock fucking hard—again—I wrapped my hand around my shaft and stroked slowly. This kept happening to me lately. I’d thought that the “spontaneous boner over her” part of our relationship had been left behind back in high school, but I’d been so wrong.
After how frustrated I’d been sharing that room with her and not being able to touch her or myself, I’d gone back to jerking off at least once a day. It was the first thing I’d done when I’d gotten home and now it had just sort of become part of my daily routine again.
Since I didn’t see any reason to fight it, I didn’t. I simply braced my hand against the wall and let my mind go to that place where the memories of being with her lived. There were so many to choose from, but my favorites at the moment were our first and last times together.
That quickie in Tanner’s guest bedroom hadn’t been the most erotic experience we’d had together, but it had been so good being with her again that I was digging it up pretty frequently now. As I remembered how hot and slick she’d been when I’d sunk into her, I moaned and sped up my movements.
Serenity had always been incredibly responsive while fooling around, and I remembered every little gasp and sound of pleasure. She’d been so fucking wet even though I’d hardly touched her before I buried myself inside her.
As I tried to imagine how wet she would get now if I spent hours teasing her and worshiping her the way I wanted to, my cock throbbed in my fist. I pictured laying her back on my bed, completely naked, and kissing every silky inch of her skin as I spread her out in front of me.
I already knew that if I ever got her like that again, I wouldn’t be letting her leave my bedroom anytime soon. If it happened, I would take my time. I’d start at her ankles and slowly work my way up, dragging my lips all the way to where she’d want them most before continuing my ascent to her chest.
She had a thing about her nipples. Once, way back when, she’d told me that if they were sucked the right way, it was almost like she could feel my mouth on her clit. We’d tested her theory, and it had gotten her so close to coming that as soon as I’d touched her, she’d gone off like a firework.
Her pussy was always so pretty after she came. Glistening and swollen, it was one of my favorite times to kiss her there, and I really wanted to do it again.
Although I was in no rush to come, I felt my orgasm starting to build fast when I remembered the faint taste of her on my tongue and how she used to cry out my name as soon I sucked her clit into my mouth. She liked being teased, though.I wonder if that’s still true.
I hoped it was, since there had been few greater joys in my life than seeing just how far I could push her.
