Page 43 of See No Evil

“Well, shit! It came outta nowhere.”

A cat had run in the middle of the road, causing commotion.

“Yeah, I know. Okay, it’s gone now. Turn right at this corner, and we’ll head on back to Walmart. You did good.”

Mama started driving again, and she tried to smile, look okay, but it was hard. Her phone buzzed again, and she looked at it and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Mama asked.

“Jacob was doing good with Kaylee, like I told you. He and I had gotten into it a few months ago about the back child support again, then he called me talkin’ about he was gonna do better, and he actually did. I was surprised, ’cause he’s said that before but didn’t go through with it.”

“Yeah, I remember you tellin’ me that. So what’s going on now?”

“He just text to tell me he might be movin’ out of state for a job opportunity. Mama, this ain’t right. He and Kaylee was just getting back on track! He hadn’t seen her in forever, then, he wanted her all the time, was comin’ to get her to spend quality time with her, and then he goes and does this.” She shook her head, feeling angry and sad at all at once. “I think he knew the whole time that he was leavin’, and just wanted to see her before he left.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him. Turn right here?”

“Yes. I hate him, Mama. I wish I never met him.”

“Baby, if that was the case, you wouldn’t have my wonderful granddaughter.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean. I should’ve picked a better father for her. She’s going to be so upset when I tell her about this.”

They went quiet for a bit.

“Well then, maybe you shouldn’t be the one tellin’ her nothin’. He should be the one sittin’ her down and laying this news on her.”

She couldn’t disagree, but she feared Jacob would turn into a spin-doctor and lie to Kaylee, instead of sticking to the facts.

“Mama, there’s Walmart.” She pointed straight ahead. “Wait for this car to pass, then turn into the parkin’ lot.”

“Okay.” Only the sound of the blinker could be heard over the ticking time-bomb of her heart. A few moments later, Mama pulled into the parking lot, then gripped the steering wheel tight again as cars were coming from every direction.

“Mama, relax. It’s gone be all right. Just drive slow… ’bout twenty miles per hour until we find a parkin’ space.”

“He’s all on my ass!” Mama yelled about a truck that was behind her.

“Ignore him. Ain’t nobody ’sposed to be speeding in no parking lot no how. He can go around if he feel like he can’t wait.” Mama soon found a spot, and though it was touch and go, she managed to maneuver the car into it. It wasn’t perfectly straight, but close. “Good job, Mama.” The woman beamed. “See, it wasn’t that bad. We can switch now, and I’ll drive you home. I ain’t got much time. I gotta pick up Kaylee early from school because she has to have an eye exam, and get her prescription for her allergies, then go to work.”

Desiree reached for the door handle, but then Mama touched her shoulder, making her pause and turn to her.

“Baby, you okay? I know Jacob made you angry, but maybe he just really wants to take care of y’all child, and all he can do is find a decent job somewhere else.”

“Mama, there’s plenty of jobs here. He already moved to Bowling Green. That’s far enough, but at least it was still in Kentucky. Now he’s talking about going out of state, down to Houston. I just don’t trust him.”

Mama nodded in understanding. Desiree reached for the door, then stopped again.

“Mama, can I ask you something?”

“You know you can. What’s on your mind?” The woman spit her gum into a silver candy wrapper, and placed it aside.

“You and I have spoken about this a lot over the years, ’specially since you’ve been clean, and I appreciate that, but do you ever blame me for you and Daddy breaking up?”

Mama’s eyes immediately sheened over.

“Desiree, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but when I said them awful things to you as a kid, I was on that mess, and not in my right mind. I blamed you for my marriage falling apart, and yo’ daddy going to jail for the awful thangs he did to you and Destiny, but I was wrong.Hewas the reason. He knew it, too. I’m just glad that eventually I had enough sense to file for divorce, but by then, the damage was done. I’ve apologized a million times, and I’ll apologize again if I have to because—”

“No, Mama. I don’t need any more explanations or apologies. I am asking because I’m afraid that if I confront Jacob about this, and tell him he can’t keep popping in and out of Kaylee’s life, that she’ll get a little older and blame me for it. Children need consistency, not part time parents. I’m afraid if I put my foot down with him, she’ll think I kept her daddy away from her, just like you felt I took daddy away from you, and the family, by tellin’ the counselor and the nurse at school what was happening at home.”

---