Page 86 of Worthy

For a moment, she thought he might argue or push her to go back to Austin’s. But his expression softened and he ran a hand over her hair. “Of course you can, pumpkin. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks, dad.”

A loud buzz cut off their conversation. Scowling, he dug a hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. The grim smile on his face told her who it might be before he even answered the phone. “Gonna guess you’re looking for my daughter. Yup, she’s right here. Hang on.”

Kit shook her head when he tried to hand her the phone, but he gave her a look she hadn’t seen since she was a teenager, the one that said she had better take the damn phone or else. With a scowl of her own, she snatched the phone from him and stalked to the kitchen. Lowering herself into a chair at the table, she took a deep breath and pressed the phone to her ear. “Hey.”

“Hey, kitten.”

“What do you want, Austin?” She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but god, all she wanted was to go lie down and pretend the past twenty-four hours had never happened.

“When are you coming home?”

“I’m not.” The finality of it had tears welling in her eyes again. How had she not cried herself out already? Surely the human body could only create so many tears before they simply dried up.

“Why not? I don’t understand what I did and if you’d just talk to me, I can fix it.”

The frustration was clear in his voice and her stomach churned with guilt. “You didn’t do anything. This is about me.”

“Then come home so we can talk about it.”

“I can’t.”

“Why the hell not? I’m trying to be patient, Kit, but you’re making it really fucking hard.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try, baby. Please?”

She paused, searching for the right words to help him understand. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?”

“What does that have to do with you coming home?”

“Just humor me, please?” At the last minute, she stopped herself from tacking on a “Sir” to the end of her plea, but it felt manipulative to use the dynamic they no longer shared to get what she wanted from him.

“Fine. I guess it was in middle school when I asked Jenny O’Neil to the eighth-grade dance and she told me no and laughed at me in front of the whole cafeteria.”

“And how did you feel when that happened?”

“Like shit. What’s your point, Katherine?”

Wincing at the use of her full name, she forged ahead. “That shitty, ‘everyone is looking at me and laughing at me’ feeling you had? Imagine feeling like that every day. That’s how I felt for a really long time. How I still feel sometimes.”

There was a long, weighty silence before he replied. “Why?”

“Because there was a time when I couldn’t even go to school without someone commenting on my weight or making animal noises in my direction. Telling their friends they’d get me to sit on them as a punishment for something they did. Boys daring each other to ask me out as a prank. You have, what, a handful of humiliating experiences? I have years and years of them.”

“Oh, baby.” Pity filled his voice, making her stomach do a long, slow, nauseating roll. Of everything she’d wanted from him, pity had never been on the list. “I—fuck, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I didn’t. And I don’t deserve it now. I don’t deserve people wondering if I’m just some weird fetish for you. Maybe it makes me a coward, but I can’t open myself back up to that kind of constant shame and judgment. I have a good life, a good business. I can’t and won’t give up the self-respect I’ve worked damn hard for, not even for you.”

“I’d never ask you to. But running and hiding isn’t the answer, either. You do that and they win.”

“I know. I just don’t know that I have it in me to fight them, Austin. I’ve been fighting my whole fucking life. I’m tired, and eventually you’ll get tired of it, too.”

“I’ll fight the whole world every second of every day if it means I get to spend those days with you.”

Ugh. Why couldn’t he just be an asshole? All of this would be so much easier if he could be a little less understanding. “I’m sorry, Austin. I’m not interested in being some side-show freak for the enjoyment of the masses.”

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