Page 100 of Painting Her Fate

I wake to Zander’s ringtone chiming, the song I played for him and one I think of as our song now,Better Togetherby Jack Johnson.

Checking the time, I find it’s only two-twenty-four in the morning. I sit up and answer with a groggy, “Alexander?”

“Lili? Are you there?” his tone rushed and breathy, with a hint of worry. He sounds pained.

I blink furiously and bolt upright, trying to focus on his words.

“I’m here. Zander, are you ok?”

*Broken* “I-, I just needed to hear your voice.” He let out a deep breath and can picture him raking his hand through his hair.

“Has something happened?” I ask then hear a sob catch over the line. I turn on the bedside lamp and partially blind myself for a moment before my eyes adjust. I need to get him to calm down.

“I-, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He takes a few shaky breaths trying to get under control. “I had a nightmare; you were hurt, *tightness in his throat* and I couldn’t get to you.”

*Light sigh* “Alexander.” I know firsthand how hard it can be to rid yourself of the nightmares. Fictional or not, they still cling to you like a lifeline. “I’m alright, love, I’m here.” My heart is pounding as the hand holding the mobile trembles. I have never heard Zander like this; he is always so calm and collected. “Alexander. I need you.”

I hear a rustling of sheets and a loud squeak from what I assume had to be one of Hank’s toys. He curses then quickly sobers, “I’ll be there in twenty.”

The sound of spraying water flows over the line before he’s hanging up.

Tea always helps center me, open my thoughts, and remember all of the conversations I had with gran. She made tea daily, I mean we are English, it’s to be expected of us. But it made us sit down and talk about things, get whatever it was off our chests, even the dark ones I had about Isaac. I never once was forced into telling her about him, I wanted to help her understand me and what I went through. She is more my mum than the person who birthed me will ever be. My mum doesn’t even know the full story, other than what I had to say in the courtroom.

It's all sealed away, never to see the light of day.

A knock on my door sounds. He’s right on time.

I rush to the door and open it, not bothering to check the peephole. Standing there with damp hair, a dark gray shirt with a few damp patches, gray track pants, and sneakers, I have to question if he ran all the way here. The pain in his dark gray eyes has the golden flecks hidden amongst his storm clouds. He has let his five-o-clock shadow grow to a slightly thicker beard, the look adding to his mystery. The nightmare is still haunting him. A whisper is all it takes.

“Alexander.”

Our bodies crash together, his lips meeting mine in a ferocious kiss,

then he breaks it, wraps me in a borderline painful embrace and buries his face in the crook of my neck, his woody scent has me relaxing into him. My own arms wrap around his waist, and I can feel him trembling, so I run my hands over his back to try and sooth him. After a moment, his grip loosens some and the trembling ceases.

“I’ve missed you, so much.” His voice is barely a whisper, his hand strokes down my hair as a shiver strikes my body. He takes notice and seems to find his voice, “let’s go inside.”

Neither of us could sleep, so I find something to watch that we both would enjoy. He propped himself in the corner of the sectional, offering for me to lay there with him. We both needed this contact right now. Talking will come soon, for now, unspoken words are just fine. We gaze into each other’s eyes and give soothing touches along open skin. We do this for so long, so we fell asleep.

I feel a warm body pressed to my front, the sensation bringing relief to this long week that passed without him here. I open my eyes to find he’s already awake. I give him a sleepy smile.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He brushes his hand over my cheek.

I’m no longer upset on him calling me beautiful; I have come to accept it as his way of bringing me the one thing I have dismissed for so long.

“Good morning, handsome. Did you sleep at all like that? It has to be uncomfortable.” I start to sit up, but he wraps and arm around me in protest.

“I’m fine.” His smile shows he’s relaxed, no sign of the nightmare lingering. “Stay with me, please.” He begs.

“I’d love to, but my bladder is protesting.”

He let out an “I suppose,” and released his arm. I sit up, somewhat stiff from being in one position for however many hours we were asleep.

“I’ll be right back.” I stand and shift my shirt as I pad towards my bathroom. Once relieved, I put my hair in a ponytail and head back down the corridor, finding Zander in the kitchen setting the coffee away.

“I hope it’s okay that I made coffee.” He comments.

“It saved me from having to do it. A woman could get used to that.” He makes his way to me and wraps himself around my body; I couldn’t help noticing how we both let out contented sighs. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” I turn my gaze away from his, but he cups my chin gently.

---