Page 18 of Painting Her Fate

Damn it, she knows. She must know it was me.

I have always had a bad poker face; Tamara tells me all the time I better start working on it if I want to make people believe what I say. I was quiet and shook my head in denial.

Claire bought none of it. “You’re not very convincing, dear.” Her arms go around me once again, “thank you, thank you so much Lili. You are certainly God’s gift to this world.” She let go of me to cup my ears and land a kiss to my forehead.

Grandpa Frank speaks up, “We should head home so you’re ready for tomorrow. I think Lili and the nurses can take it from here.”

Claire leans over and kisses her son’s forehead, “You son- get better. I will be praying for you while away. I love both of you so much.” She gives me one last hug then walks to her husband. They wave goodbye and exit.

Alone with him now- peaceful in its entirety.

Tears well in my eyes now that it’s only us in the room. I’m unable to hold back my emotions any longer. The first tear falls as he wipes it away.

“Hey, don’t cry sweetie.” His words in that rasp of his only make the tears flow faster.

“I could’ve lost you. I- I don’t know how I would’ve kept going without you here.” Choking up, I speak the thoughts that have suffered in my head for all these agonizing hours.

“I made a promise to you; I will always be here for you.” He says gently and wipes away both sides of my cheeks.

A few minutes go by as I’m finally able to calm down enough, knowing he is truly going to be okay.

A nurse comes into the room asking dad how he is feeling. “I am sorry to say that visiting hours have ended.” Her tone is small, “Mr. Thompson could use some rest and might better do that without the distraction.”

I did not want to leave him now that he was awake, there is so much I want to tell him, to ask him, but I could tell he was still very much weary and could use rest.

“I’m off. I will be here tomorrow, as soon as I can.” I stand and kiss his cheek. The day has been a long one, with a positive ending.

“Promise me you will get some rest as well. That chair looked uncomfortable.”

That chair was bloody horrendous, but I would do it again if it meant I can be here with him. Sure, I have a knot in my upper back, nothing a good run in the morning can’t fix.

“You are right about that.” I say with a laugh. I stretch my arms over my head trying to work out the kinks. “Can I get you anything before I go?”

“I’d like to know when I’m able to get out of here.”

That right there tells me how much he is not liking being here. Yet another thing we have in common. The feeling of the walls closing in around us, that sterile smell, and the constant calling on the intercom can make anyone go a little insane.

“Your doctor will be in in the morning Mr. Thompson. Is there anything I can get you for now? Another water, perhaps?” The nurse says, grabbing the water cup, “I’ll be right back.” She walks out of the room.

“I love you dad.” I say squeezing his hand.

He returns it just as strong.

“I love you too sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” His eyes close in a medicated lull, the nurse more than likely pressing the button for his pain relief.

I help him get settled and the nurse comes back with his water cup. I do not want to leave him, but I have to focus on doing what he asked of me, taking care of myself too.

Once home I take half a sleeping pill, crawl into my big bed, and dream hopeful silent dreams.

_CHAPTER 4 - ALEXANDER_

"Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses." – Confucius

Flames of glowing orange and yellow danced in my hazy vision. The smoke is thick, the smell is putrid. Pure fucking chaos. Pain is a constant companion I’d rather live without. I sputter and try catching my breath, it’s no use. The cab is engulfed. Men, my men, call out- they scream- they’re begging. I need to get out. I scream too. Fuck!I have to get them out! Someone, get them out!

I jerk awake. Heart pounding, mind racing, body drenched in sweat. Heaving myself from the nightmare, I rocket upright, finding the covers twisted at the end of the bed and the fitted sheet popped off the corner of the mattress.

Whining from the floor sounds, then a wet snout nudges my hand. My pup hops on the bed and sniffs my face then timidly licks at my jaw to tell me he’s here.

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