Page 3 of Painting Her Fate

I have the one thing I have wanted for so long; my dad is here. I have never felt this way, this -blissful, this protected in such a long time.

Without words, he is telling me that he is never leaving me, never seeing me come to harm, and never again wanting to be the person who puts the look of sadness on my face.

Then, like a sledgehammer to the head, doubt crept in.

Is this all but a dream? Am I going to wake up at any second and all this will be but a trick of the mind?It couldn’t be real.My thoughts begin to shift to the darker negative aspects of what the bloody hell is happening.

What if he is here to see me and finds out my situation is too much for him to bear? Would he up and leave without a trace? What if he doesn’t want a daughter? What has Gran told him of my past? Would she do that? She knows I’d never forgive her if she had.

Everything I’ve endured over the last four years cannot, no,will notbe spoken with anyone unless I am the one to speak it, that I have made clear. *Panic crept in*I can’t do this.My throat feels tight, my breathing labored. Am I going to faint? *menacing*Fall away, Lili.My inner voice tells me.Let the darkness consume you. Close your eyes. Just let go.Allow it to take you over.

Through the haze I hear his deep voice calling my name, a concern in his tone that wasn’t there before. How I want so badly to shut down and not have this man to see me like this.

I’m broken. A heart, mind, and body shattered into more than a billion pieces. I’m unfixable. Never to be whole again. This is not me; the person I want him to see can never be resurrected.

One thing that excites me is the prospect of what my monster could not take from me now. Sure, my body may be broken, heart shattered, spirit dwindled to only a sliver of what it once was, but the monster cannot take what it did not know existed. My father. That monster cowers in the shadows, fearful for once. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“There you are sweetie.” The man holding me says with a bit of relief.

“I’ve got you.”

How long was I out for this time? Seconds? Minutes? Panic bubbles inside but I’m scared to let him see. I do not want to be alone, where the darkness and quiet settles in and takes over.No. Please, no more darkness.Panic wallops into me.

“Don’t let go!”I screech, my fingers clawing at his back as I unknowingly begin to hyperventilate. My mind and body are taxed, I’m shaking uncontrollably, and thoughts wander to the hell I want so desperately to be gone. One large hand strokes my back as he leans in and kisses the top of my head, whispering a word I’ll never forget.

“I will never let you go. I promise.”

Promise, it’s all I needed to hear from him.

Mum gives her excuses to leave, but first she sneers a nasty glare at my father and points a finger in his face.

“This conversation is not over, Daniel. You’re not taking her from me, nor will you be apart of her life.” She gleams a hateful smirk, “That much I have made certain.” I burrow into his chest to hear the pounding of his frantic heartbeat, then the slamming of the door sounds as mum departs.

Silence reigned for a few beats as the tension in the room lifted, then the kettle gave its chime and essentially broke that barrier.

Gran is quick to set the tea then requests we head into the front room so she can grab the photo albums for us all to glimpse and reminisce. My vision returns as I see her wiping away happy tears then she’s rushing to us, squeezing us tightly.

Happy tears of my own fell now. The only birthday present I’ve ever wanted is here.

Family.This is what family is supposed to feel like.

_CHAPTER 1 - LILI_

“Sometimes to find the light, you have to go through the deepest darkness.”

– Jared Leto

_April 2017-Present Day - Age Twenty-Four_

“Oooooohh, oo-oo-ooh, we’re on the ride of our lives! The ride, of our- *pause* LIVES!” The packed crowd explodes in a storm of cheers and whistles as the London band slams out their catchiest upbeat tune, ‘Driven to Go’. Soon everyone in Tally’s bar is raising their fists in the air, chanting.

“ONE MORE SONG! ONE MORE SONG!” The lead singer turns to his band, nods to their agreement, then groans incredibly sex-a-fied into the mic.

“You want more?” He asks, giving the crowd his sly grin as he wipes strands of dark hair from his brow. The crowd lights up in ovations as their answer.

“I love you, Zane!” A girl yells over the crowd.

“Do me hard Zane!” Another shouts, then a pair of undergarments slingshots on stage gaining another roar from the crowd. He chuckles into the mic and winks.

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