Page 79 of Painting Her Fate

“I take it I do not have a choice in the matter.” I take another sip of my tea before it goes cold.

“No, you do not. Now, on a different subject, how is that hunky man of yours?Zander.”She asks, cocking a brow, her grin as big as they come.

“We are just friends.” I bite my lip.Shite, she knows that is my tell.

“Ah, ha! Emma was right! She told me you two have been attached at the hip.”

I roll my eyes, “Is there anyone in my life you do not know about?”

She chuckles and waves a hand, “Definitely not.” She sits straighter,

“tell me, is he better in bed than Zane?” She pauses as my eyes go wide, *shouts* “He is, isn’t he?! I like him already.”

“Oi! Shut it, will you? Enough with the cheekiness.” I tease as she throws her head back in laughter.

When she calms down, she sighs, becoming a little serious. “You know I love you, you’re my best mate. *considering* Zander sounds great, but –” she trails off.

“But what?” Now it’s my turn to straighten.

She is silent for a moment as she continues chewing the cap, “Have you, searched him at all?”

“No, why would I?” My anxiety simmers as I cross my feet, uncross them, and repeat. Tamara’s hesitance is not often shown. She’s found something, always with the inquisitive mind this one.

“He’s been through quite a lot, especially while overseas.” She removes the pen cap and gives me her full attention now. “I am only telling you this to protect you. I don’t want you going down a dark path. I’m afraid he might bring your past to the forefront.” Her look of worry has me slumping in my seat. She cares for me and is one of the few people that know what happened when I was a child. I trust her.

“I’ve been careful.” I leave out how I’ve shut down a few times, but some way, somehow, he is the one to ground me, bring me back to the present. “He is nothing other than charming and sweet. Tender and patient. He’s unique.” I blush and look away from the screen.

Yet another tell for Tamara to add to her list.

“Oh sweetling.” She’s breathy and eyes wide, “I have never seen this side of you before.” She squeals then, “You’re falling for him.”

“Come off it.” I wave her away, her look turning sheepish.

“Don’t you think it’s a little soon?” She sips her bubbly and I wait for her to place the glass down before responding.

“Zane and I never had a connection like this.” I heave a sigh. She knows everything there is to know about me, and I get she is only looking out for my best interest. Can’t I have one thing that I do myself? I feel coddled.

“Zander and I are taking things slow, I mean, we are, and we’re not.” I grin wickedly. She gets it, her face scrunching in disgust.

“I think that is my que to go to bed. I’d rather not hear about dick before I diddle.” She throws her hands up then chuckles, “goodnight sweets.” She blows me a kiss.

“Goodnight, T. Sweet dreams.”

Cradling my tea in my hands, her question goes through my mind.

Have you searched him at all?

Why would I search him? If there is something I needed to know, he would tell me; wouldn’t he?You just met him. He’s probably tried searching for you. Just take a peek.I open the search bar, then sit there watching as the cursor blinks. Fuck it. I type out his name, ‘Alexander Gorski Buffalo, NY’ and watch as the pages pop up.

Social media, not much but it’s there. Videos of crowds outside on the pavement holding American flags and thank you posters, some with tears in their eyes. Articles from local papers about his return home and time of war. A press release about Afghanistan. Another local article about the Marine veteran openingHarbor’s Edge Bar and Grilldown the way from the ‘Be – Harbor’ center.

I click on the local paper article, labelled, “A Local Hero’s Return, Community Rallies.” Dated just around three years ago. I began reading through it, my hands shaking in trepidation.

“Corporal Alexander Gorski recently returned home from his second deployment from Afghanistan…”

I continue reading on, finding just a small snippet of info about what might have taken place while deployed.

“Patrol team leader, Corporal Alexander Gorski and his four-man convoy were attacked by the Taliban, taking on rapid firing –”

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