Page 88 of Painting Her Fate

Gazing upon the sad, weary person staring back in the reflection, I’m beginning my pep talk to my inner self.

Isaac is not in control. You have Zander to protect you. I repeated these sentences.

The person in the mirror had a flicker of joy pass her features at the thought of Zander.Zander is your safe person.

You would think after enduring Isaac’s repulsive touches for years, now coming up on a decade since seeing him, I would just get over it in some aspect. If only it was that easy. I have learned to take things day by day, knowing he is incarcerated for his crimes; he is paying for what he did.

Finding my mobile charging on the end table, my eyes widen and my heart sinks when I see just how many hours of the day I had lost.

That can’t be right; how is it five thirty in the bloody evening?

I missed sitting in on the children’s session at the bookstore, and Emma's game night starts shortly. I'll send my apologies to Kat and see about sitting in on the next one. Do I want to go to Emma’s for fun and laughs? Maybe it’s what I need; a good distraction from it all. I should give dad a call once I've had a cup of coffee.

Damn medication.

No way I am ever taking a full dose of that medication again, I need to have a talk with my therapist about other alternatives. I shouldn’t feel this foggy, this detached from reality.

I want to get started on a few ideas I had for paintings, the gala only a couple months away now. There is so much to do yet, but it’s as if the receptor in my brain that connects my ideas to canvas, is unplugged. I can’t focus.

Maybe I should stay home and sleep off the meds, stay in my safe place.Emma will come knocking down your door if you do not show up.True, I better go and at least make an appearance. Sighing, I pad down the corridor to the kitchen and make a single serve cup.

While waiting for the coffee, I down a full glass of water and scroll aimlessly through Netflix, finding a random show then snuggle on the sofa with a blanket, and click play. Remembering the unopened text message on my mobile, I begin scrolling through each one.

Blake asked if we could work on his project after school tomorrow. I text him back that it would and immediately get a thumbs up back.

Emma reminded me not to forget about game night, as if she would allow me to.

The last one surprises me, even though it shouldn’t.

Zander-Hey beautiful. Thinking of you.Sent at three twenty-four. I was still asleep.

My heart flutters and my smile set in stone when I read it. Then read it again, and a few more times, one word sticking out.Beautiful. If he keeps this up, I may end up believing him one of these days.

One thing that crosses my mind was the dessert we shared last night, that tiramisu was amazing.It’s his favorite dessert as well, a sign, maybe?I give a rather un-ladylike snort at the thought.

Get real. That only happens in fictional romance novels.

An alert chimed on my mobile breaking me from my thoughts. The reminder I set for going to Emma’s. I notice I have enough time to give dad a quick call before heading over.

My talk with dad was uplifting; he will be released in two days and wishes it would be here already. That gives me enough time to look for a vehicle and clean his place. Not that it’s dirty, the military mindset has always kept him wanting things tidy; it just needs a sprucing. If he could tell something was up with me, he didn’t bring it up. He just listened to the news I had about the gala, and how it may be the key thing we need for the foundation. Oh yeah, speaking of the gala, Tamara informed me I must write a speech.Bloody hell. The one thing I despise the most other than Isaac, is public speaking.

My mobile chimes with a text from Emma.

Emma-Get your butt over here lady!

I smile and send her back-On my way.

Not wanting to get out of my furry gray slippers, I decide to keep them on, figuring I am only going down the corridor and not outside. I Make sure I have my keys in my pocket then grab a bottle of water from the fridge, there is no way I am drinking tonight, I’m too out of it from the meds to feel safe. A moment later I knock on their door, not ready to be around people right now but Emma can perk up anyone’s mood.

The door suddenly pops opens and an exuberant Hank wiggles out, jumping and whining quietly.

“Hank!” I whisper excitedly, knowing that he shouldn’t be in the building. I look up to the door waiting to see Zander, but instead find Emma. My smile faulters before I recover. Maybe he is inside. I don’t want to face him right now, see his disappointment and the worry etched on his face.

“Lili! Yay! You’re here.” Emma claps and gestures me in.

Once inside, I didn’t even greet Emma like a normal guest would, I went directly to Hank on the floor, bending down and wrapping my arms around him. This, this is exactly what I needed to calm down.

“Well, nice to see you too.” Emma’s laugh is full of warmth. “Zander was right when he said you loved his dog. It’s like Hank knew you were

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