Page 91 of Painting Her Fate

“Were you a good boy for auntie Emma?” He asks his pup, who snorts merrily, relishing in the love he is getting from his owner and the new sights and smells in this new place. He is such a happy pup.

“He is always such a love.” I answer for Hank, then watch as Zander and Hank play around the room, this moment in time feeling natural.

Don’t get comfortable, he doesn’t want you.Why would he be here right now if that was the case?

Before I could get in too deep with my anxiety ridden thoughts, the oven chimes and I set a dish inside and set the timer. Zander stands, huffs a breath as if winded then chuckles as he makes his way to the kitchen. I grab two bottles of water from the fridge, handing him one.

“Thanks.” He sits at the middle stool and opens the bottle, taking a few sips of it before capping it. “I haven’t heard from you today. You were still out of it when I left. Feeling any better?” His analytical gaze rakes me over.

“I seemed to have slept the day away.” I wave away the flash of worry in his stare, “must be the jet lag and events finally caught up to me. I feel quite a bit better.” Is he going to accept that as truth?

There is tiredness etched in his regard, the dark circles giving away just how little he’s slept last night. He placed his elbows on the counter and massaged his forehead, his posture emitting his weariness.

Maybe changing the subject will help, “everything ok at the bar?”

He raked a hand through his scalp and scoffed, “I’m Mr. Fix-it when it comes to that place.”

I can see that isn’t all what has him stressed; there is a double meaning there. I know I’ve piled onto his load. “Let me know how I can help. My dad has a dependable repair crew down that way. I could give them a call.”

“He sighs and shakes his head, that hand raking through his scalp once

more, “I’m afraid it’s not in the budget right now.” His lips tilt in a half smile, “that’s what I have Ford for, he is built tough.”

He’s deflecting. Where have a witnessed this before? Right. I do it all the time. It hurts to see him this way and I want nothing more than to assist. “How did your appointment go?”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes as his wanders. “It went well.” He closes his eyes and take a deep breath, not elaborating any other information.

Now who is refracting? Now I know how others feel when I do this to them. I’ll be more app to change that.

I have money to repair or replace anything he needs, that isn’t the issue, the issue would be him accepting said money.

Scenarios play through my mind. I could contact the repairman and have him fix any issues at the bar, then pay for it myself. I just need a list everything, so the crew has an idea.

Zander wouldn’t speak to me again if he found out I wasn’t being truthful with him.

Then another idea struck. Tamara is the mastermind behind anything dealing with business.She has enough going on with the gala.Best not to disturb her.

“You are only one person Alexander.” I pull out the drawer with a pen and paper and set them in front of him. Maybe if I get him to at least write down his list for me, I can pretend to act nonchalant. “Let’s make a plan. Number how many issues you have and put them in order from largest to smallest.”

His eyes brighten as a small smile appears and his posture relaxes just a little, “You are amazing, you know that?”

Whilst he creates his list, Hank and I take it upon ourselves to lay on the plushy rug and cuddle.I need a dog like this.

Once the cooker chimes, we dig into our meal and go over practical solutions to some of the issues plaguing him at the bar. Some are easier to solve than others, and from the sounds of it, he has a cooler about to kick the bucket and a long-standing plumbing issue throughout the building as his top two items. Checking the list, everything there seemed workable; now it’s time for me to put my thinking cap on.

Hank is asleep by our feet as Zander and I lounge together on the sofa, Disturbed’sThe Sound of Silenceplaying in the background and setting the mood; how ironic.

I pondered all through dinner over what I could tell him about my past without giving too much away and satisfy his curiosity. Not nearly enough came to mind. I could be vague, or I could come out and tell the truth.He held you last night, he didn’t run. Be honest with him and allow him to make the choice on if he wants to still be with you. You have an NDA for a reason.

Can I live without him if it’s too much for him to accept? To never again touch him, kiss him, to have him hold me when my monster comes knocking; can I handle that?My heart started racing.

Fine. Don’t risk it, plain and simple. Focus on dad’s health, on the gala, focus on you. Zander will understand this is what you need right now. Take a break and find out what you need first.

Chin held high, I turn to him and take his hand in mine. I look him straight in the eyes and muster all the courage I have, “we need to talk.”

_CHAPTER 16 - ALEXANDER_

“At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato

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