Page 97 of Painting Her Fate

Back at my place, I come storming in and head straight to my room.

In the upper part of my closet, I’m checking for a certain box I have not opened since coming home from bootcamp, over ten years ago. I find the box of poems buried under a stack of picture frames, ones my ex put on the walls, most of them are of the two of us. There is no need to even go through these. In the garbage they go, right the fuck now. Time to rid myself, and this house, of the past.

Gorski magic is teaming inside me, I can feel it.

If this works, I know she’s the one for me.

_CHAPTER 17 - LILI_

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…I have loved none but you.” – Jane Austen

This week has been wonderful being here with my dad. I have spent much needed time with him, completed a few paintings, sketches, and even designs for Zander’s bar – for the fun of it, of course. That is one thing I’m not telling him about. Let’s keep that between us, shall we. Dad is getting around a bit better, where I allow him to roam anyway. His two-story log cabin nestled in the woods is complete with a large pond, rope swing, and trails to ride the ATV’s and buggies; it's quiet, it’s serene. It’s home.

The thirty acres here has only one drawback; no mobile signal whatsoever. I can imagine Tamara has been frantic over not being able to contact me as easily. She has dad’s home number and has used it only a couple of times. She has reassured me there is nothing is pressing and is trying not to bother me whilst I tend to dad.

This time with my dad to help him heal, has helped me heal, and think. A lot. Now that we have a steady mobile connection throughout the house, the chiming has not quit. I liked it better when it was quiet.

As much as I love being here, I miss my city life, I miss the atmosphere. I miss Alexander.

I keep replaying that night last week, the one where I had planned to let him in, even just a bit. I know I can trust him, so why did I clam up? Someone chopped off my bollocks and fed them to the pigs. The shock that swept through me at the mentioning of Isaac's name floored me. It made me someone I never expected to be. The look that registered on his face when I screamed for him to leave, it broke me, shattered my heart in a million pieces. He had the same exact look as I. I wanted him to stay, I begged him inside my head, but it wouldn’t release through my lips.

Everyone has their end point, and when they can only take on so much

misery, they break.

Needing a break from the wooden walls and pristine solitude, I traveled to the small ski town, wanting to do a little shopping for myself. The town is so tiny that if you blink you might miss it, but that is what I love about my dad’s hometown. I found some great spices to try on our salmon tonight from the dry goods shop, and I found many fantastic socks from the purple sock palace. Every time I visited dad, or he would come to London, we always made sure to grab sponge candy from the local chocolate shop, it is delectable. Finally, I found desserts from a new bakery that just opened near my dad’s bar, their tempting call for me to eat them right now rang loudly.

Dad and Mack’s brewery,The Stalemate Brewpubhas daily specials, and today happens to be one of my favorites. Meatloaf day: no way am I passing on that. I set the treat boxes in the back seat then travel down the way and inside yet another place I call home.

“I think dad is getting a little stir crazy being stuck at home.” I tell Mack after swallowing a mouth full of tattys. He’s behind the bar slicing garnishes as classic rock music flows through the room. There is one other person in the establishment sitting at the other end of the bar, waiting for his takeaway order. Like most places in this area right now, they are gearing up for golf season. Things are slow everywhere, but with Easter coming up, the shops are picking up with last minute sales.

“Oh, I know for a fact he is way beyond stir crazy. I still won’t let him come here though.” Mack is looking a little worse for wear. With running two businesses, managing a shit ton of paperwork, and dealing with the same drama all bar owners deal with daily, it can wane on anyone after a time. “Your grandma invited me to dinner Sunday, but I think I might stay home and catch up on sleep.”

I raise a brow, “Best not get on Claire’s bad side.” We chuckle then I finish the last bit of food on my plate, making sure to get every crumb. “Mack, that was delicious.Merci (thank you).”

I am going to have to spend extra time running this off, that’s for sure.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for checking on me.”

Back at dad’s, I find him sitting outside on the wrap around porch, in his favorite wooden chair looking over the garden and surroundings. It’s damp and the air has a slight bite to it; he shouldn’t be out here in this, even with the jacket he has on.

“Hey sweetie, have a nice time shopping?” He shifts in his chair to better angle his body to see me, no wincing or discomfort whilst doing so. He is healing nicely but can’t stand how immobile he is.

“It was great. I visited Ms. Barker at the chocolate shop, and she gave me a few extra pieces of sponge candy. Said it will make you better.” I sat beside him and placed the bag of goodies next to me on the bench.

“Is that Mack’s meatloaf I smell? He perks up and leans over to check the other bags, “Are those, cupcakes?” He rubs his hands together, ready to dig in.

“Oh, no. Not so fast. You need to eat actual food first, then we will enjoy them.” He’s none too impressed as we make our way back inside.

“You are such a spoil sport.” Dad retorts, “but I suppose I can wait.”

“I’m not giving you a choice, so there.”

“You know,” he begins around a mouth full of potatoes and I’m quick to scowl, making him stay quiet and tuck into his meal.

The power of the look. I learned from the best.

While he eats, I scroll through my mobile, Tamara sent graphics and updates about the gala. Below her name is Emma, then after hers is her brother, Zander, the four messages going unopened. I have not talked to him in over a week now, the temptation is like a lightning strike every time I see his name cross my screen.

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