Page 116 of Everything Under the Sun

I looked away, feeling the blush in my face. But then I stood my ground; I wanted to be brave, to at least seem like I had some idea I knew about such things. I couldn’t let him believe otherwise. Because then he’d know the truth. And he could never know the truth.

I glanced at his lap nervously; he was grinning when I looked back up.

Why is he looking at me like that? Ugh!

I hated—okay, I kind of loved it—how he was looking at me, waiting patiently for me to answer. How dare he think I don’t know what to do! How dare he think I couldn’t handle him! But I really didn’t know what to do. I had an idea; I’d heard things, read things, but I’d never actually done any of them and thought it was probably different than I’d imagined.

And I wasn’t sure I could handle him. I had felt his hardness against my backside many times, but I had never touched it, I had never seen it, nor held it in my hands, nor put it in my mouth like I pictured myself doing right then. That’s the answer! I can tell him I’ll pleasure him with my mouth! I can one-up him because I hadn’t even let him do that for me yet! I may have been comfortable around him, but I was self-conscious about his face being between my legs. Oh, how awkward that would be!

I felt brave and bold suddenly, and—no I didn’t; the second I looked into his grinning eyes, my bravery melted into a puddle of intimidation.

I took a deep breath, uncrossed my arms and coiled my fingers nervously down in front of me; I shuffled my toes in a little circle on the floor; my shoulders were drawn up.

ATTICUS

“I could…put my mouth on you,” Thais said in such a quiet voice I had to strain to hear her.

Oh, but I’d heard her. The grin I wore left my face in an instant, replaced by…hell if I fucking knew. Was it shock? Or maybe….no, it was certainly some form of shock.

“Come again?” I inquired.

Maybe I didn’t hear that right, I debated.

“I said,” she said a little louder, bolder, “that I could put my mouth on you.”

Oh my God, Thais…why’d you have to go and say that?

I could tell, by her shy demeanor, the look of pure terror in her eyes, that she was uncertain about everything she was saying; she was not prepared to actually do what she was proposing. She regretted ever saying it.

Hmm.

I thought I might just see how long I could play this out; teach her a lesson never to try being too bold—especially for the sake of getting me off. Maybe this would make her stop asking altogether.

“Oh,” I said casually, pursing my lips, “you’re saying you want to give me a blowjob?”

THAIS

I froze, and nodded timidly.

“Okay,” he said, and glanced at his lap. “If that’s what you really wanna do, love, then it’s all yours.”

I blinked—I thought he would say no!

My stomach swam with air. My hands were sweating and shaking; all the moisture in my mouth evaporated as if the sun had moved a mile closer to the Earth. I can’t let him see how terrified I am! I tried to counter the fear in my face with courage, and then raised my chin properly.

“Yes,” I said with a solid nod, “that’s what I want to do for you, Atticus Hunt.”

ATTICUS

I wanted to laugh at the formality but I didn’t laugh. I just smiled up at her, one side of my mouth turning up more than the other. Then I uncrossed my ankles and opened my legs. I reached down and slid the zipper open on my pants and then unbuttoned them. But I didn’t take it out; I figured I’d let Thais, bold and brave Thais, do that part.

I reached up both hands and fitted them behind my head. And then I waited; big close-lipped smile intact.

THAIS

I thought I was really in over my head. I looked down at him—at anything but his eyes now—and my hands continued to move restlessly, clasped in front of me. A lump moved stubbornly down the center of my throat.

Then I reached out a reluctant, shaky hand and placed it atop the very visible, very sizeable bulge in his pants.

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