Page 132 of Everything Under the Sun

What would Sosie think of me now?

I had been outside taking the clothes off the line when my sister’s face entered my mind. My beautiful Sosie; oh, how much I missed my dear sister.

“He’s not the same man who tore us apart that day,” I told Sosie as I pulled a T-shirt from the line. “He never was that man. Oh, how I wish you were here so you could see and understand.”

I folded a shirt and placed it on a tree stump.

“Tell Momma that I’m going to be okay, that God sent Atticus to protect me and that I’m going to be okay.”

But what I did not tell my sister was that I thought God had also sent me to protect Atticus. Sosie would not have understood such a thing. Sosie would never have approved that her sister would willingly give herself to any man. And I thought Sosie would tell our mother and then both would be turning over in their graves.

But my father would have understood.

He’d always wanted someone strong for me, someone who would protect me when he was gone. “Thais, you should give Fernando a chance. He’s the only man I trust. And he’s a strong and devoted young man—he’ll protect you.”

“But I don’t want anyone else to protect me, Daddy, except you. Give him to Sosie.”

“I will never be with a man!” Sosie yelled from the living room. “I’ll die before I let anyone ever touch me, Daddy!”

Father looked at me paternally. “No one can survive in this world alone,” he said. “When I’m gone, you’ll need someone strong to protect you and your sister, to keep you alive.”

I shot up from the kitchen table, my dress swishing about my ankles as I went toward him. I draped my arms around his neck and hugged him so tight.

“Daddy, we’ll always be together. You’re all the protecting we need.”

I sighed. I missed my father terribly. We had a special bond; and we were so alike—everyone had always said so.

I smiled; the fabric dangled from my hands.

“I’ve found someone to protect me, Daddy,” I said.

Because he would understand. He wouldn’t turn over in his grave hearing such news—he’d dance in it! I giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Atticus asked, coming up behind me.

I startled.

“You scared me!” I playfully slapped his arm.

Atticus beamed, grabbed me around the waist, and pulled me to him.

“I heard you laughing,” he said, kissing my right cheek. “What were you thinking about?” He kissed my left cheek, and I melted in his arms.

“I was just thinking about my sister.”

“Oh?” He let go of me and sat on the grass, drew his knees up, and smiled at me with interest. “Was she a funny girl? Tell me about her.”

I folded the shirt in my hands and placed it on top of the other one on the tree stump. I paused and looked thoughtfully out ahead. Atticus reached out and took my hand, gently pulling me down to sit with him on the grass.

“Yes, Sosie was the funniest girl I knew.”

I drew my knees up, and pulled the length of my dress over them.

“Before she lost her sight, before The Fall, she was always playing pranks on me and our parents. One time, to get back at me for spilling soda on her favorite blouse, she filled the top of the toothpaste tube with some kind of prescription medicine Momma kept in the medicine cabinet.” I stopped to reflect, shaking my head and smiling at the memory. “She made sure I’d be the one to squeeze it onto my toothbrush. And of course I did, and I started to brush my teeth with it—I was so mad at her for that!” I laughed. “And she was so clever, and so sharp—had a foul mouth if I’d never one before—and everybody in the neighborhood was afraid of her. My big sister. Nobody ever messed with me.”

Atticus smiled.

“Did she take up for you?” he asked. He sat with his hands hooked around his legs, his back hunched.

---