Page 61 of Everything Under the Sun

She stood up on wobbly legs.

“You said to get my supplies—are you sending me away alone?”

I thought on it for a moment. I’d had no intention of going with her. I couldn’t. Not if I wanted to keep others from following her.

“No,” I finally said. “You’re not going alone. I’ll go with you, at least until I can get you somewhere safe.”

“Is there anywhere safe, Atticus?” Her voice was soft, hopeless, and hearing her say my name like that did something to my heart. “Do you know where you’re taking me?”

I sighed. And I looked at the wall.

“Yes,” I lied, and then stepped out into the hallway.

Just before I closed the door I added, “Promise me.”

Thais nodded.

“I promise,” she said. “I’ll wait for you.”

21

THAIS

An hour went by, one long and tortuous hour, thinking of my sister and everything that had happened. Get up, the voice inside my head told me, but I ignored it. Another hour, and the voice was still there, trying to interfere, to take from me all that I had left: my sorrow.

Get up. Do what Sosie could not. Get up.Getupgetupgetup!

Sorrow turned to anger, anger to determination and vengeance—I wanted to live now more than ever, I wanted to live to get back at the world for what it did to my family.

I wanted to live.

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand—tore them away from my face with fury and resolve—and I stormed across the room, grabbing the backpack I’d already partially filled with stolen supplies.

I went around Atticus’ room and stuffed as much as I could into the bag until it was almost too heavy to carry. Once the bag was full to bursting, I lifted it onto my shoulders to test the weight and it nearly toppled me over. But I straightened, with difficulty, and walked around the room. I walked across flat surface; I stood on Atticus’ bed and walked across unsteady surface; I walked upright, and with my body hunched over; I walked with and without my shoes—I thought any practice was better than no practice.

When I had nothing left to do but wait, I went over to the window and gazed out into the night. The rain had stopped falling; the moon was a giant orb in the sky peeking over the tops of the surrounding buildings.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Sosie. But I’m going to try…I’m”—I swallowed—“Sosie, I’m going to try to make it. And if I live long enough, I will tell people about you, about my beautiful Sosie who was a beautiful poet. Tell Mother and Fa—”

The sound of exploding wood stopped my heart, and I whirled around to face the door. Crack! Bang! The door swung open; pieces of the wooden frame fell onto the floor. My scream pierced the air, and in the same instant I lost my breath. A burly, dark figure towered in the doorway like a monster, a crowbar in his hand, a twisted smile on his face mixed with maddening retribution, revealing the gap between his yellowed teeth. It was the brute.

My already weakened legs shook beneath the thin fabric of my dress; my stomach clenched; my lungs tried desperately to find air again but to no avail. My eyes darted around the room in search of the gun, anything I could use to protect myself. But all I had, I realized quickly, were my words.

“What are you doing in here?” I demanded. I tried not to look afraid, tried to control the shaking of my hands as I raised them out in front of me in gesture. “The Overseer will not be pleased—”

“The Overseer isn’t fucking here,” the brute cut in. “He’s in Ohio. The cocksucker who took you from me, and has been hiding you up here in his goddamned room”—his grin spread so largely it looked like it could take off my whole head—“well, he’ll be dealt with soon enough.”

He lumbered into the room toward me. I backed my way toward the window, both hands blindly feeling behind me for something to grasp.

“I-I don’t belong to you,” I stuttered. “I-I’m supposed to become Rafe’s wife. If you touch me—”

The brute tapped the rounded head of the crowbar he’d used to break the locked door open with, against his camouflaged pants. “You’re to become my wife,” he growled, still coming toward me. “I was next on the list, and I won’t have some pussy soldier like Hunt cutting in front of me in line.”

“But Rafe—”

“Fuck Rafe!” the brute barked.

And then he grabbed me, and my own scream deafened me.

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