Page 78 of Everything Under the Sun

“We don’t even know if they’re looking for us in this direction,” I pointed out. “If that man, Edgar, was telling the truth, they’re probably heading for Topeka—”

“But if he wasn’t—”

“Then we still don’t know if they’re coming this way,” I cut in.

“And that’s my point exactly,” Atticus came back. “We don’t know, and that’s enough reason not to stay in one place for too long, this close to Lexington City.”

My lips snapped shut. I knew he was right, and for a moment, I hated him for it.

I lowered my eyes, my shoulders falling as I released my breath. But then a thought suddenly occurred, and I looked right at him.

“And what if I decide to stay anyway?”

ATTICUS & (THAIS)

The prospect struck me numb.

Thais’ arms crossed loosely over her chest, lending defiance to her posture.

“I’m not your prisoner anymore,” she went on. “What would you do if I chose to stay here?”

I could no longer look at her; indecision, and even a blooming fit of panic at the idea of her staying, rendered me momentarily speechless.

Finally, I raised my head.

“Is that really what you want?” I offered derisively. “Do you want me to just leave you here with these people—who you’ve known less than twenty-four hours—and let you fend for yourself? Do you trust them—people you just said can’t defend themselves—more than you trust me to keep you safe?” Just having to force myself to ask her these questions infuriated me—after all I had done to get her out of that city…after all I still had yet to do, and was prepared to die doing…What the fuck?

(I lowered my eyes, feeling the bite of shame. Atticus had saved my life…)

“No,” she finally answered. “I don’t want you to just leave me here, Atticus. I want you to stay here with me—Where else can you go? Other than Shreveport, which is so far away that, I admit, seems impossible to get to. I’ve laid awake at night the past several nights thinking about how long and treacherous and risky that journey will be. I have nightmares about it, even when I’m awake.” She paused, holding my tortured gaze to her determined one. “It’s a long way—I think we should take advantage of whatever we’re given and deal with the consequences when we have to. Think about it—it seems the risk and consequences are even greater trying to make it to Shreveport, than staying here.”

I turned away from her, adjusted the backpacks on my shoulder, grimacing with the painful effort. I gazed out across the shadow-painted field toward the house; the windows were lit with oil lamp and candlelight, casting a warm glow from an otherwise pitch-black structure silhouetted against the backdrop of trees. A dark figure darted across the front porch—it was Trick, the dog.

“Give me time to think about it,” I finally said.

Her face lit up.

“For now, go back into the house and delight them with more of your poetry and singing.”

Thais blushed.

“You heard me in there?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I did.”

I cut across the field toward the barn and left her standing there.

THAIS

Emily and David agreed to let us stay on their farm. “As long as ya want to,” Emily had said when I talked to her about it. Though I told them that nothing was set in stone and that Atticus had not yet decided.

“But what about you?” Emily asked. “If your brother ‘cides not to stay, will ya leave with ‘im?”

The question stunned me.

“Yes,” I answered after the stun wore off. “If he leaves, I’ll leave with him.”

Before Atticus left me in the field, I thought I had made up my mind. I was determined to make a life here, whether Atticus would join me or not. I resolved to believe that staying put was the most sensible option. But the second Emily asked the burning question, my tongue went numb in my mouth.

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