Page 71 of What Hurts Us

She wasn’t exactly wrong, though.

“I meant what I said, Lay.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in her shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t do this. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do long-term. I don’t have room in my life to take care of someone else all the time.”

“So, you don’t have room for a relationship, but you’re willing to go all-out to fake one for a few months?”

“Real relationships are different. This… This isn’t that.”

“What makes you think the real thing will be different from what we do now? What would change?”

I laughed. “Well, for one, the whole town thinks we’re getting married. Do you know how many calls I’ve fielded from Gran, trying to get us to nail down a date?”

She snorted. “Probably half the number of calls I’ve gotten from my aunt and my mother,asking whether we want an indoor ceremony or an outdoor one.” Layla picked up my mug and stole a sip. “I’m not delusional. I know we’re not getting married. I’m perfectly aware that the engagement isn’t real…” Her voice softened. “But I also know that if we walk away from whatever thisreallyis, I’ll hate every time I run into you at The Copper Mule and you’re with some other woman. You say that you don’t want to hurt me, but it will hurt me if I see you at the grocery store or at The Tipsy Goat. Every time we land at a scene and you’re there with the Falls Creek PD—it will hurt me.”

I sighed, knowing she was right. I didn’t want to see her around town with another man on her arm. I didn’t want to hear that she had gotten engaged for real. It would have been easier if we had remained strangers. It would have been easier if our only connection was the day she took my mind off the pain when I was trapped in my mangled cruiser. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“But it is. So, the question is if we’re going to tuck tail and run for the hills or face it head on and fight for something that could be really amazing.” She tipped her chin back, tucking it in the crook of my neck. “I see the goodness in you. Everyone does. It’s a damn shame that you can’t see it in yourself.”

That’s where Layla was wrong. I wasn’t living to be good. I was living to even the scales. To repay an endless debt. Sure, once upon a time, I assumed I’d get married. Have a family.

But I had subjected myself to a life of restitution. I couldn’t pull Layla into that. I couldn’t expect her to be okay with taking a backseat to the duty I owed.

“What happened to your… How did you put it? Your self-imposed celibacy? Yourman-fast?”

“I thought if I avoided sex, I’d avoid falling for someone.” She kissed my jaw. “You and your cranky ass made me fall anyway. Might as well get some orgasms out of the deal.”

I chuckled, making sure her hands were free of coffee and breakfast food before flipping us and pinning her down onto the bed. “No arguments here,Asal.” I slid my hand beneath the hem of her shirt. She hadn’t bothered with panties. “Do you know how many times I stood at your door and wanted to go in?” I kissed the side of her breast. “How fucking hard I get when I go into the bathroom after you and smell your shampoo or your perfume? Did you know I heard you the other morning, getting yourself off?” I pinched her nipple. “Did you know I stood in the hallway and listened while I fucked my hand?”

She whimpered as I toyed with her body.

“We square?” I asked into the crook of her shoulder.

Layla hummed in satisfaction. “You’re paying for that bullshit ticket you gave me.”

“You can get it dismissed.”

She propped herself up on her elbows and glared at me. “You can pay for it. That’s the price of humiliating me in front of the entire town and making me late for work because you were uncomfortable with your head residing inside your ass.”

I slid my knuckle through her wet entrance and teased her clit. “I’m sorry, honey.”

Layla sighed happily. “That’s better.”

“You know what I think would make you forgive me?” I moved down the bed, leaving behind a path of sloppy kisses down her stomach. “Another orgasm.”

“Then don’t put your face where your cock should be,” she clipped.

I nuzzled my cheek against her soft thigh. “You don’t want me to eat this pussy? Because I’ve been getting off nearly every day to the thought of my face buried between your thighs.”

“No thanks.”

What the… Seriously?

I held her hips with gentle hands, lifting my head up to look at her. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t like it,” she blurted out defensively as she reached for the edge of the sheet.

“And why’s that?”

“You know, I’m not really in the mood for twenty questions.”

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