Page 7 of Curves of Steel

I go to set my phone aside.

Then I remember the tug in my belly looking at the former figure skater on the T.V. this morning — and my low-key promise to Ash to shake things up a little.

I wonder what he’d say about me finding someone on this app. Probably exactly the kind of motivational poster bullshit that I needed, like,Don’t reject them just because you’re afraid they’ll reject you.

That’s pretty good advice, actually.

I force myself to set up a profile on the app.

Then, gritting my teeth, I start swiping.

At first, I swipeNoon every potential match. Not because they’re not accomplished or attractive or intriguing, but because I’m certain they think I won’t be.

But soon I loosen up and get into a kind of rhythm. I swipeNoon women who would clearly be poor matches, like the ones with profiles that say things like, “City girl at heart,” and, “Wish I was in NYC.”

I don’t think they’d enjoy me and my cabin and my rugged ways.

With everyone else, though, as long as I feel even a little curious about them, I swipeYes. What’s the harm, right? I throw the ball in their court and let them decide if they think I’m the right match for them.

God, it’s terrifying, putting myself out there like this.

But at the same time, it’s oddly exciting.

Maybe Ash is right. Maybe I do need to change things up, try new things. If merely swiping right or left on a dating app is this entertaining, going on an actual date with a woman will be the high point of my year.

And also, again, terrifying.

But I can deal with that, right? After all, I’m ex-military. I’ve done horrible things and dealt with far worse than sharing a drink with a beautiful woman.

Then I see her.

Creamy skin, dark curls, luminous brown eyes — Michelle.

It’s the woman from the morning show.

Suddenly my heart is beating too hard, my breath coming too fast.

I want to take back all theYesswipes I’ve done. The app provides no way to distinguish between a casual, let’s-see-what-happensYesand a holy-fucking-shit-hell-yesYes.

With Michelle, it’s the latter.

And I want some way to show that.

Ineedsome way to show it — to show that she’s different. Special. Everything I’ve been craving, I just didn’t know it until I saw her.

I can’t believe that a woman like her could possibly be on this app. How is she not taken? How is every man she passes not doing all that he can to prove himself worthy of her?

God, I’d love to discover what she smells like.

Laughs like.

Tastes like.

I shudder in a pleasurable way, feeling myself growing hard at just the idea of the sexy as fuck figure skater.

I swipeYeswith all the gravity that I can give the gesture.

My skin prickles and heats when the screen lights up and I see that we’ve matched with each other.

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