Page 27 of Bombshell (Whiskey Dolls 1)

“Randy Griffin has a mom who brought cupcakes for our class when we had that Valentine’s party. And Gracie Pearson’s mom comes in for story time. All my friends have moms and I think I kinda want one too. And if I had a mom, maybe she’d be able to take care of you too.”

“Eli, you have a mom,” I said quietly, taking his hand in mine. “Remember? We talked about this. She might not be here, but she’s always watching out for you.”

“I know my mom’s up in heaven, but do you think I can have one that’s down here with me and you one day?”

I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to say to that. There was no right answer. He wanted a mom, but the only way to give him a version of that was for me to do something I had no intention of ever doing again. I’d never get serious with another woman after Constance. Not ever.

“I don’t know, son. Maybe one day.” It was weak, and I wished I could have given him something better, but those were the only words I could make myself force out.

“Okay. Night, Daddy. I love you.”

I leaned in and pressed another kiss to his forehead, pulling his smell deep into my lungs. “I love you too, buddy. All the way to the farthest darkest star in the galaxy and back.”

That was something Constance used to say as she caressed her belly while she was pregnant with Eli, and again for the few short months she’d been alive after he was born.

I waited until his breathing evened out and his limbs grew heavy with sleep before standing from the bed and heading out of his room.

As I climbed into bed later that night, Marin’s words played over in my head.

“Try to cut yourself some slack, yeah? From where I’m standing, you’re doing pretty damn good at this parenting gig.”

I might not be able to give him another mom, but I could do everything in my power to be the best father I could be.

And as surprising as it was, considering the bomb my son had dropped on me earlier, somehow, when I fell asleep later that night, I did it with a smile.

12

Marin

“What do you know about babysitting?” my sister asked into the phone that was cradled between my ear and my shoulder as I worked to make Eli an after-school snack. I might not have been able to cook for shit, but making ants on a log didn’t require skill. It was just spreading peanut butter onto a celery stick and sprinkling some raisins on top. If I couldn’t pull that off, I’d failed at life.

“Hey, I’ll have you know, I’m a great babysitter. Just look at your kids. I’ve watched them and they weren’t any worse for the wear.”

“Simply keeping a child alive isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, babe.”

“Says who?”

“Says me,” Tali threw back through the line. “Yes, my children were alive when you babysat, but when they decided to color a mural on the living room wall, you joined in instead of making them stop!”

“Only because your children showed exceptional promise! Matt’s shading and Erika’s creativity were things to be nurtured, not stifled.”

“So what’s your reasoning for drawing a dick then?”

“It was a spaceship!” I scoffed, knowing I was full of shit. I’d said it was a spaceship for the kids’ benefit, but I’d totally drawn a dick in peach crayon on her wall. “Also, it was funny.”

“You’re the worst. You know that?”

“Well, Eli digs me,” I snarked. “And that’s all that matters. I’ve been at this gig for three days now, and not a broken bone or dick in sight.”

Just then, the little toot came skipping around the corner, shouting, “Dick! Dick! Dick,” at the top of his lungs.

Tali cackled in my ear. “Oh, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you explain that one to Pierce.”

“He obviously must have learned that word at school,” I grumbled, making a mental note to be more careful with what I said around little ears. “I have to go, I have a child to watch, and I intend to do it brilliantly, thank you very much.”

I hung up on her while she was still in the middle of laughing and looked at Eli with a bright, beaming smile. “Hey, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll give you a dollar if you promise not to scream that word when your dad’s around. Deal?”

Okay, so maybe this wasn’t my finest hour, but he was breathing, uninjured, and relatively happy. Cut me some slack.

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