Page 42 of Bombshell (Whiskey Dolls 1)

I might not have it in me to give myself to another woman as completely as I had with my wife, but for as long as it worked for us, for as long as she’d let me, I could at least give Marin what I had left. That was, if she wanted it. AndChrist,I prayed she wanted it.

As it was, I couldn’t get the woman out of my head. The other night was just the first of many times I’d jacked off with Marin’s face on the backs of my eyelids, and I was tired of fighting it.

I knew she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. I’d seen it written on every inch of her face. Hope spread through my chest as I pressed a kiss to my boy’s forehead, whispering, “I love you all the way to the farthest darkest star in the galaxy and back,” before I headed back down toward the living room.

She was in the same place she’d been when I’d left her twenty minutes earlier, still curled into that ball, but I got the sense that it was now more for protection than comfort like it had been earlier.

At some point, Titan had commandeered my spot and was now stretched out across the other cushions with his head near Marin’s lap as she slowly dragged her fingers over his head.

“He asleep?” her voice quivered with nerves, and her tongue darted out to swipe across her bottom lip.

Oh yeah. She definitely wanted me.Fuck yeah.

* * *

Marin

“Yep. Like a light,” Pierce said as he moved to the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle of wine he had opened for me during dinner, and poured us both a glass before heading to me. I took the glass he offered, then gave a little jolt when, instead of joining me on the couch, he grabbed my hand and pulled me from the sofa, leading me toward the back door.

“Wh-where are we going?”

“Figured we could sit on the deck for this conversation. It’s a gorgeous night. Might as well take advantage, don’t you think?”

Titan woke up and hopped off the couch, following behind us so he could roam and sniff. Pierce left the door partially open so he could hear in case Eli needed him, then he guided me to a set of loungers off to the side, partially in the shadows.

He was the picture of comfort, his feet extended, crossed at the ankles, one arm behind his head. Meanwhile, I sat with my whole body stiff as a board as I clutched the glass in both hands and stared off into the yard. Silence enveloped us, and I was slowly started to calm down, feeling my shoulders sag, when he spoke, undoing all of that.

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

Oh man, talk about diving right into the deep end.

Unable to meet his piercing blue gaze, I kept focused on the darkness in front of me and lifted my glass to my lips, sucking back a huge, fortifying gulp. “I’m thinking... that I feel overwhelmed right now,” I finished on a whisper.

The concern I heard in his voice as he asked, “Because of me?” was finally enough to forced my head around so I could meet his gaze.

His forehead was furrowed, the blue in his eyes glinting like icy fire. “Yes,” I breathed.

He placed his wineglass on the ground beside him and threw his legs over the side of the lounger to face me full-on, his elbows braced on his knees. “I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to do. You know that, right?”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to force the scattered, jagged thoughts flitting around in my head into something I could understand, something I could explain. It was the world’s most complicated jigsaw puzzle inside my skull.

“No, I know. It’s not that. I just... beingaroundyou is overwhelming. I feel like you surround me. You invade everything, even the air, and I sometimes forget to breathe.”

My eyes darted open and flew to his when I felt his fingertips caress my cheek. His gaze had darkened in the past several seconds, the intensity in his eyes stealing the air from my lungs. “I know the feeling.”

“You—” I swallowed thickly. “You do? Because of me?”

He nodded, then he spoke, and his words made the ground fall out from beneath me. “I want you more than I can ever remember wanting anything before. I can’t stop thinking about you, even though I know I should.”

I nodded, surprisingly relieved to know he was struggling with this whole thing as much as I was. “If anything were... to happen... between us, it would be messy. I don’t know if I’m ready for messy.” I sighed and tried to look away, but he refused to let me, taking my chin between his fingers and holding it in place. “Honestly, I don’t know what I want. After Frank, I told myself I was going to take a break from men. The only reason I went on that terrible date was because my friends wouldn’t let up.”

I could see the questions swirling around in his eyes, but was grateful when he didn’t ask them. “You know, it doesn’t have to be messy.” I gave him a look that said,come on man, making him laugh. “No expectations, Marin. We take it a day at a time and just enjoy what we have. I want you. I know you want me too. I’m tired of thinking of a million reasons why this is a bad idea.”

Before I could form a response, his hands spanned my waist, and he was pulling me off my lounger and onto his lap. My legs widened instinctively, straddling his thighs and sucking in a surprised gasp when I felt his hard length press against my center through our clothes.

“What are you doing?” I asked on an exhale as he took my wineglass and set it on the ground beside his.

“Testing a theory,” he replied, then he fisted my hair and slammed his lips against mine.

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