Page 107 of In Her Eyes

“I need to look at the evidence again.”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “No, you’re exhausted. You went through every piece of evidence multiple times. You need to rest.”

“Jake, I need to see Emily’s evidence.”

He pales. “Why?” His voice is a whisper.

“Because when I find her, I’ll find Lynn, too.”

Chapter54

Jake

My chest locks up,and I have to force the trapped air from my lungs. As if I forgot how to breathe, I drag in a stuttered breath. “What makes you say that?”

With lowered eyes, Ava wraps her arms around her middle as if trying to protect herself. When she looks up, there’s apprehension in her eyes. “What is it? What are you afraid to tell me?”

She smiles, but there’s no joy in it. “Am I that transparent to you now?”

Is she? No, I don’t think so. But we are in synch and have been for a while. “You’re stalling.”

Ava nibbles her bottom lip and meets my gaze. “Emily is here.”

A trapdoor opens under my feet and swallows me whole. My vision fades and my heart pounds in my ears like a thousand jackhammers. I sway as if drunk from my overwhelming emotions. No. No. No. I didn’t hear what Ava said. It’s not possible. Is it not? She saw spirits before. So, why not Emily? Hasn’t it been too long? Tears rush to my eyes and blink them away.

Ava reaches for me, but I step back and raise my hands up to ward her off. I can’t bear to be touched right now. I stumble back until I hit the wall. I try to speak, but my throat is locked up. I close my eyes, clamp my head between my palms, and squeeze. Try to stop the erratic thoughts and the pounding in my temples.

It’s happening all over again. Instantly, I’m back to the day Emily disappeared. The images and emotions, the days, weeks, and months that followed, all coming to me at once.

“Breathe.” The sound of her voice is like a sliver of sunlight breaking through a dense fog. My lungs obey her command, and my chest expands with a rush of cool air. I drop my hands to my knees and bend at the waist, sucking in one breath after another. The tension eases bit by bit. The pounding in my ears retreats, and the muted sound of voices outside the restroom make themselves present again.

I stand up, using the wall to support myself, rub my palms over my face, and look at Ava. She stands out of reach with both hands pressed to her mouth. Her shoulders convulse under silent sobs, and a stream of tears wets her cheeks.

I open my arms, and she rushes into them. I press my cheek to the top of her head, holding her tight, taking and giving strength.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks into a sob.

My hands rub up and down her back. “Shh, no. Nothing to be sorry about. It wasn’t you.”

“I shouldn’t have told you.” Ava’s voice is the echo of a whisper.

I push her back a few inches and cup her face in my hands. I want her to see me and hear me. “This is not on you. This is fourteen years of grief, denial, and hope catching up with me.”

She blinks. “Hope?”

“Hope that even though I didn’t believe it—couldn’t believe—that Emily’s soul existed somewhere.”

Ava wipes at her damp face. “Why couldn’t you believe it?”

I dig up the truth I’ve never told anyone from a deep, dark place inside myself. “I didn’t think I deserved the comfort of believing in an afterlife.”

“Why not?”

“I . . . someone I knew back then suggested my family hired a psychic to find my sister. My parents refused because it goes against their beliefs. I insisted and paid for it. The woman fed us lie after lie. The police followed her clues, and days went by, then weeks and months. All for nothing. She was a con artist. She gave us false hope, stole from us, and sent the investigation in the wrong direction. After all of that and seeing how much it hurt my parents, I stopped believing in everything.”

Her mouth opens, and a smallohescapes. “That’s why you were so angry when we first met.”

“Yes. It’s also the reason I became a cop. To solve her case when the police at the time couldn’t. It’s been nearly fourteen years since that day, and I’m no closer than they were. And now you’re telling me you saw her, and you can find her . . .”

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