Page 84 of Damn Roommate

Then, just as I’m about to continue laughing at him, Nolan walks into the kitchen. If I wasn’t already leaning against a piece of furniture, I would have lost the use of my legs becausethe sight of him makes all my limbs tingle. His hair, expertly styled so that it looks messy. His brown curls don’t fall over his eyes, revealing a dark look that stares at me the very moment he walks through the door. A black long-sleeved T-shirt on the back, he has put on straight cut jeans of the same color, which fall on faded Timberlands, making him look cold and mysterious. His bracelet around his wrist, he added a leather watch that highlights his prominent veins. I swallow and when I see him looking at me clearly, I feel the blush rise to my cheeks.

Why am I in shapeless joggers again?!

“Are you looking at me, Scar?”

His hoarse voice causes butterflies in my stomach, and I frown, looking around, embarrassed. Nolan laughs at his joke, and I blush even more.

“You’ve got some saliva right there,” Leo chuckles.

To emphasize his joke, he comes to dry an imaginary trace at the corner of my mouth.

“Don’t take your dreams for reality, number twelve!”

We challenge each other with our eyes for a second and he ends up giving me a discreet wink.

“You two are pissing me off, did I tell you that?” sighs my brother. “Two big kids.”

“Tells that to your buddy,” I mumble.

“I’m sorry, Scar, but I think you’re the younger of the two of us.”

Nolan shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking at me teasingly, and I roll my eyes.

“A year. Twelve little months and you make me look like the prepubescent teenager every time. I wonder if it’s me who really needs to grow up.”

The guys laugh and Nolan fixes his piercing gaze on me. I’m melting. It’s been two days since weunofficiallyaccepted this unspeakable relationship that binds us. Two days isn’t a lot,but in this living situation, keeping a secret and maintaining a distance is a real challenge. The more time passes, the more I think we’re doing pretty well. Nothing has changed between us, on the surface. Yet everything is different. The way he looks at me, the way he talks to me when the guys’ backs are turned, touching me, making me laugh, kissing me. He doesn’t run away from me anymore, he doesn’t ignore me anymore, and behaves as if we were a couple when we meet in private. If I hadn’t already pinched myself a good twenty times, I’d swear this was all in my imagination. But the glances don’t deceive. Neither do the moments spent together on the living room couch.

My whole body trembles at the memory of his skillful and forbidden touch. I close my eyes and sigh.

“Maybe we should go, guys, and let my sister work!”

“Especially since chicks are waiting for us!”

“What chicks?” I ask.

My mouth pinches itself but I refrain from looking too curious.

“Scar, you’re looking at the three most desired singles at Boston University!” Leo exclaims. “We are Terriers, and a Terrier must be a heartthrob! Reputation is everything.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from glancing at Nolan, who hasn’t moved an inch as he enters the kitchen. Leaning against the door frame, he doesn’t flinch, as if this conversation doesn’t concern him.

Three most desired singles…

My heart tightens, and I fight against the surge of jealousy that stings my chest thinking about the evening that awaits them. I’m notofficiallyhis girlfriend, and I’m not allowed to make a comment to him, to appear upset or worried. I can’t. Not when we are not alone, when we have just started something and it’s still unstable. Even though I’m scared, I remain unmoved, listening to the guys laugh and forcefully ignoringNolan on my left. If it turns out, it will only take him one night to realize that what we’re doing is a mistake. To tell himself that all of this makes no sense, as soon as he sees all these girls available. Girls he can hug withoutannoyinghis friend. Girls he can kiss without making his buddymad. Girls he can hang out with withoutlosinghis buddy.

I panic but say nothing. Don’t react and put a fake smile on my face while looking Leo in the eye.

“This evening is promising, obviously.”

My voice doesn’t shake. The bitterness I tried to swallow has not tainted my tone and I remain impassive. Yet my rib cage is making a huge noise and I’m running out of air more and more. I have no right to claim anything. To pretend that Nolan isn’t single, because we haven’t given ourselves anyreallabels.

Except that it’s a secret.

“Give me a break, Riley. With you it’s always the same,” laughs my brother. “The more you talk the less you do.”

“Like the time he was all over the blonde! She didn’t even talk to him when he already saw himself crashing at her place for the night.”

Edgar and Nolan burst out laughing.

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