Page 49 of Gripp

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Oh, good,” he said casually. “They are letting me go soon, so I don’t know.”

He shrugged, truly wondering now what he was going to do with his freedom. Everything had been so simple before this mission.

Before April.

“How’s the article coming?” he asked.

“Great!” April said happily. “I have more than enough evidence to make real change in the area. They won’t be able to justify keeping the mine open, and I think the government officials will have to step down, at the very least. They might even get properly punished for this if there’s a full investigation.”

“That’s great,” Gripp said, smiling. He was paying attention to her words, but her enthusiasm gave her an incredible glow that captured his gaze.

I can’t imagine being away from her. She’s even more beautiful than I remember. How can I live without seeing that smile every day?

Suddenly, Gripp was caught in a memory. Waking with April, over and over again. The feel of her in his arms, her sweet scent covered by layers of bog mud, and her pretty face marred by bruises.

How can these be the happiest moments of my life?

Gripp struggled with the knowledge, but ultimately, he couldn’t fight it. He had been happier waking up in a cold, rocky cave with April in his arms than he was back here on the base with all the creature comforts.

Seeing her clean, rested, and happy enticed him, but it also made him sure that a relationship between them would never work. Now he could see the real April and recognized a bright light like her should never be anywhere near the violent, deep darkness that lived in his soul.

“So,” April said, taking a bite of salad. “Do you think you’ll end up on another mission soon?”

Gripp shook his head, vaguely realizing that he must have ordered food without even thinking about it.

You know what you’re really hungry for.

“No, I really don’t know,” Gripp answered, still fighting his emotions. He wanted to reach across the table and grab her, pull her to his chest and kiss her beautiful, soft red mouth until both of them were breathless. His need for her was surpassing all else.

“What about you?” he asked, trying to maintain the conversation. “What articles do you want to write next?”

April didn’t answer immediately, and when Gripp looked up, she was staring at him, her eyes wide. He held her gaze, reaching across the table to touch her hand. She jumped a little as their fingers connected.

“You okay?” he asked.

She grinned and nodded. “It’s nice to eat a meal and have a conversation without someone trying to kill us, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It is.”

They were still looking into each other’s eyes, and Gripp felt something shift between them. They broke eye contact at the same time and looked away, almost nervously.

As if we’d rather be out in the jungle. Alone. Together.

They finished lunch without talking much, and Gripp offered to take April home. He kept his thoughts to himself, knowing that the fantasy had finally come to an end. He was letting her go.

He lingered, watching her head to her front door. Gripp knew that something inside him had changed on a fundamental level. He had lived so much of his life in survival mode, making sure he was completely self-reliant so that he never had to let anyone get too close.

Somehow, April had bypassed all of his walls. She’d done it without fighting him or hurting him, but by being there for him. He knew, beyond a doubt, that he could count on her, and she would never let him down.

There is one person on the planet I trust, only one.

The thought gave him little comfort. No matter how close he felt to her, he had to give her up. It was the only way to keep her safe.

Gripp watched her head inside her house, then slowly pulled away from the curb. His mind was a twisted web that seemed to teeter on the edge of despair. His heart throbbed painfully as if it disliked being awakened, only to be broken once again.

I will do the right thing. April shall have the best of me, and the best thing I can do is leave her alone.

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