Page 54 of Queen Rose

Mom cocks her head to the side. “What? You weren’t ever going to tell me? What the hell were you thinking, Nate?”

“I was thinking I was protecting you from something that would only upset you. She wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

Aria stands abruptly, almost knocking the chair over. “Um. I need some fresh air. I’m going to go sit outside and let you talk.” Without waiting for either of us to respond, she hurries out, closing the front door quietly behind her.

With a sigh, I pull out the chair across from Mom and sit.

My mother stares at me, working her jaw back and forth like she does when she’s really pissed off. “She didn’t tell me anything. She simply asked if you’d found a job. And for the record, she knew her misstep the second she said it, but she couldn’t very well take it back.”

I grind my teeth, not ready or willing to upset Mom by arguing. I look away.

“Nate, what happened?”

Closing my eyes, I work a rough swallow. “I—” My teeth clamp down on my lip, biting hard.

“You need to tell me. Now.” Her words are quiet, but her meaning is clear. She’s still my mother. Still the head of this household, no matter her health status.

I open my eyes, meeting her gaze head-on. “A couple months ago, we were short on money. And I did something so fucking dumb.”

She sucks in a breath, blinking rapidly. “What did you do?”

I fidget, then finally cross my arms over my chest. “I took food. From a convenience store. I got caught.”

Her shock is evident from the widening of her eyes and the way her mouth has dropped—and stayed—open. “You got caught. How did I not know this?”

I shrug, knowing it’ll probably piss her off, but dammit, I’m over it. “I’m eighteen. They don’t contact the parents of adults. I haven’t been working Saturday mornings.”

“But the landscaping job…?”

“Yeah, that’s afterward. I got assigned community service. The judge was in a pissy mood that day, and I ended up with one hundred hours. I’m about halfway through.”

“You got kicked off the football team.” It’s a statement, not a question. “You won’t be—” She covers her face with both hands. “Oh, Nate. I have money. Tucked away. Why didn’t you say something?”

I’ve never felt like such shit in my entire life. “I didn’t know you had it—not until you mentioned it when I wanted to go with Aria to the lake house. I was trying to take care of everything on my own.” I run my hands over my scalp, scrubbing hard.

“Dammit, Nate, you shouldn’t have to. I’m the parent. I know I ask an awful lot of you, way beyond what any eighteen-year-old should have to deal with. But holy shit. You gave up your future over… what?” She stares at me, wide-eyed and disbelieving.

“Hot dogs, a jar of peanut butter, and a loaf of bread.”

* * *

An hour later, I get up from the table and help my physically and emotionally exhausted mother to bed. I haven’t a clue if Aria is outside still, but I’m unsure what I’ll say if she’s there.

I pull open the door to find her balled up on the front step, chin on her knees, rocking back and forth. Sitting down beside her, I try to contain my anger, but I’m afraid some of it leaks out when my words come out bitter and cold. “You had no right.”

Her indrawn breath is ragged. “I know. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking, and it occurred to me that you hadn’t said anything about looking for another job, and I knew you were planning on it when you got back and… it popped out.” Aria’s face is pale and drawn when she turns her head to look at me. She looks so sad, I want to wrap her up in my arms, but—

“Fuck,” I growl. I sit there, staring at her for a minute. I’m pissed off and angry but I can also tell she’s been beating herself up over this for the last hour. I run my hand roughly through my hair. “Aria, do you realize my mother may not make it to my graduation? She didn’t fucking need to know. I was protecting her from this. I thought you understood that.”

She wets her lips, her eyes glassy and bright. “Nate,” she whispers, “you can’t look at it like that. What were you going to say if she beat the odds, and expected you to be preparing for college this summer?”

I huff out a breath. “I don’t know, Aria. I don’t usually get that fucking lucky. The only thing that’s ever gone right for me is—” I get up, pissed at what I was about to say.

“What’s gone right, Nate?”

For a count of three I say nothing. “You. You’re the only thing that’s gone right. Or you were.” I growl, “I’ve gotta go.”

Her forehead pinches together, and her lip trembles. “Where?”

“I don’t fucking know. But please don’t wait for me.” I jog over to the Jeep, get in, and fire it up. I take off without a backward glance, leaving her sitting on the front porch. If I thought I could look in the rearview and not turn the Jeep around, I would. But I can’t. It hurts like a bitch to leave her there—it really does. But I know I need to cool off so I can think straight.

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