Page 13 of Bitter Lies

“What’s your name?”

“Halsey.”

“Nice to meet you, Halsey. I’m Curt.”

“Hi, Curt,” I say with a shy smile.

Although I was nowhere near this pathetic once upon a time, I’ve always been somewhat reserved, and now with the way words catch in my throat, hanging on a thin veneer of shame that I can’t shake, the issue has become my albatross.

“You want a drink?” he shouts as the music gets louder and cheers sound from inside the house.

“Um…” I trail off, turning toward the noise and spying the last person I thought I’d ever see again.

With a shit-eating grin on his beautifully brutal face, Jason Macklemore emerges with a trail of guys behind him. Jason was the quarterback for our archrivals, Kingston Prep, and Griffin hates him for that reason, which is why I agreed to date him the last few weeks of senior year.

He’s tall, handsome with dark hair and eyes, with a matching dark soul that I found out about too late. After our last encounter at a party, I left him parading around as though his shit don’t stink and never looked back.

I had no clue he was going to State. Is he on the football team with Griff? Do they pal around now that they’re teammates?

The notion makes me ill. His very presence makes me sick, and turning away, I head in the opposite direction because I’ve got to leave—now.

“Hey, are you having fun?” Miranda says, intercepting me with a flushed face and glittering eyes.

“Oh, um, sure,” I say, turning to her with a weak smile. “Actually, I’m not feeling well. I thought I might go.”

“Oh,” she says, her face falling. “We were just going to play a game. I thought maybe you could be my partner?”

“I—”

“Well, well, well, Halsey Moore. I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Jason says behind me in a smarmy tone, and all at once, the world drops out from under me, and I’m back at that party from months ago, flirting with Jason to make Griffin jealous.

Of course, that backfired because when Griffin found me out back the house later that same evening, trembling against the wall, he had nothing but disgust on his face as he looked me over cruelly and said, “Did you fuck him? How was it?”

“Fuck off,” I whispered, avoiding his gaze.

“Was it worth it? Whoring yourself out? When will you get it, Halsey? I don’t care who you fuck, just as long as it’s not me.”

With a tremulous smile and the last of my dignity, I searched his face for a hint of fucking humanity, hoping that for once he would look at me with his gentle smile or even trace my hair back from my face the way he used to. And when I came up achingly empty, I walked the three miles home with a dull ache in my chest and a fierce knowledge that nothing would ever be the same again.

At home that night, I fell apart in my room, where I sat on the floor and cried through the shame pulling at my skin, clutching my stomach as the pain throbbing in my body pushed me to the floor. And keening like an animal, I welcomed the pain because it superseded the devastation clenching so tightly in my heart.

To answer your question, Griff, I didn’t enjoy it, but I guess I got what I deserved.

“Halsey?” Miranda says, bringing me back to the present.

Numbly, I look over Jason and try to block out the past, but it’s impossible with it looming over me in the form of this arrogant dick. Frankly, I don’t understand how he has the gall to approach me after everything, and I’m reeling at his audacity.

“Yeah?”

“You know Miranda? How funny. Miranda and I dated in high school,” Jason says casually.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her I’m sorry, for this is nothing to be happy about, when she laughs breathily, a crease forming in her brow as she says, “Yeah, those were the good old days.”

“Hm. So, Hals, what have you been up to? We should hang out sometime.” He licks his lips as his greedy eyes trail down my body.

Incredulously, I stare at him, blood rushing through my ears as black spots dance before my eyes. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

He rears back, confusion darkening his brow, and I wonder for the first time if he doesn’t realize what he did to me. Did he not see that he broke me? The possibility is frightening because maybe it was a game for him, but it was a nightmare that changed my life forever.

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