Page 48 of Bitter Lies

Still, he’s said more than once that he can’t resist me. Is it because deep down beneath the hate lives the same feelings I can’t let go of? Or something else?

Opening the door quietly, I tiptoe down the hall, but no one is here. I’m alone. Taking a quick shower, I dress quickly, intent on escaping the house after observing my room with no little horror.

Black paint covers the beautiful hardwood floors, my bed, and the walls, creating a new age look that, for all its artistic charm, does not match the theme Griff was going for.

I vandalized his place, and I’m going to have to reimburse Griff for the expense, which means dipping into my five thousand dollars and having to tell my parents why.

Not good news.

Not only that, but I’m knee-deep in shame at my actions, the roiling in my gut reminding me that I’m a phone call away from crazy town, and after the first and last experience, I vowed to never go back.

Opening my door quickly, because my heart is pounding with the urgent need to leave, I gasp to find Griffin standing on the other side, and I step back hastily.

“Griffin,” I whisper.

He looks me over quickly, the tension around his eyes easing before his mouth pulls into a thin line. “What happened last night?”

Shit. It’s bad enough that I have to look in the mirror and see my own disdain, but seeing Griffin’s, too—the prospect is devastating.

Shriveling, I bow my head and cast around for anything that will save me from having to admit my painful truth, but Griffin is having none of it.

“Halsey?”

“It was, um…I had too much to drink,” I lie, staring at his chest.

“You destroyed your room and fucking lost it because of alcohol?” I can hear the disbelief and maybe even censure, but I prefer it, even as my cheeks flame awfully.

“Yes.”

This is what I wanted, right? It’s better this way…so why does it feel so fucking bad? I’m drowning in my own damn lies.

“Why? What is this all about?”

“My treatment—”

“For what?” he demands.

Raising my chin, I clamp my trembling lips together and stare at him mulishly.

He runs his hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end as he eyes me closely. “Why can’t you just be fucking honest?”

Biting my lip against the surge of tears, I smile tremulously. “I am.”

His brows drop over his eyes as he searches my expression, before he visibly cools, and his eyes shutter. “I suggest you don’t fucking drink.”

Nodding, I watch him go with an ache in my chest, wishing the truth trapped in my throat would break free, but the possible consequences continue to choke me, and now the lies piling up might just bury me.

“Halsey,” he says, stopping at the front door.

“Yes?”

“When you told me you loved me, was that a fucking lie, too?”

He doesn’t wait around for my answer, and with a wretched sob, I wait until he’s gone before leaving myself and walking toward campus blindly.

I’m still riding the uncomfortable high of attacking Jason and the fallout after, not to mention worried about whether Griffin plans to tell my parents. He clearly doesn’t believe me, and he shouldn’t since it was a lie, but I didn’t have much choice.

Baring my ugly to him is quite a painful prospect, and I’m already writhing in shame at what he did see. I painted myself in black, for fuck’s sake.

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