Page 69 of Bitter Lies

“You can’t hide this forever,” I whisper, “and you’re being reckless and stupid. Sleeping with Miranda? Not cool.”

With a sneer, he steps back, “What do you care? I would think you’d be glad to see the dick get what he deserves. I mean, c’mon, Hals, he’s been an ass to you since middle school.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t care then. Why now?” I demand, my chest icy as I cross my arms over my middle.

“It doesn’t matter. Just keep your shit together.”

“Max! You’re being stupid! You think Griffin can’t see that something’s off about you? I don’t need to say anything. You’re doing just fine on your own. You’ve got to stop, get help.”

Laughing bitterly, he looks to the ceiling before reaching out so quickly I only have time to gasp as he wraps his hand around my throat and squeezes.

“I don’t think you understand. There’s no going back now. You need to keep your fucking mouth shut. I’m not interested in your opinions or your fake fucking concern.”

My lungs are tight as I stare into my brother’s eyes, nothing but blank rage looking back at me. “It’s not fake.”

His grip isn’t hard, but there’s a definite sting that makes me pause. Would he truly hurt me? I don’t know because I don’t know this man standing before me. He’s a complete stranger.

“Fuck off, bitch,” he spits, squeezing me once more for good measure before pushing me away.

Spinning for the door, he exits quickly, escaping to his room. Sighing, I go to close the door, stopping up short when Griffin walks by with a sleepy Miranda on his arm.

He meets my gaze with a sly smile that fades at my expression, but I close the door before he can ask, assuming he would even want to.

Leaning my forehead against the wood, I resolve to do whatever it takes to get the fuck out because I fear it’s not just my mental health on the line anymore.

∞∞∞

With new resolve, I sit down in my counseling session, ready to make a bargain. I’m not prepared—I can feel it in my gut, the contents rolling around uncomfortably—but if it means I can move out, I’ll talk about that night and expose every dirty secret.

“Well, Halsey, how was your week?” Dr. Marks asks, giving me his trademark gentle smile.

Tapping my fingers against my leg, I say through a throat thick with fear, “I’m ready.”

His eyes brighten, a slow smile spreading across his face. Inexplicably annoyed by his eagerness, I clear my throat and look away. “But I need your help first.”

“How so?”

“I need you to help me convince my mom to let me move. I’ll go into the dorms, wherever, but I can’t stay where I’m at anymore.”

“Has something happened?”

“No, not really,” I mutter, avoiding his penetrating gaze, “but I think what you said is true. Being around Griffin isn’t good for my recovery.”

The words taste like ash on my tongue, which is stupid, but I can’t and shouldn’t lay my issues at Griffin’s door. He’s not exactly a wealth of comfort, but he’s also not the one holding me back. I’m holding me back, because I think if I truly acknowledge it, I don’t believe I deserve to get better.

Still, I’m desperate, and I’ll lie if that’s what it takes.

“Okay, I think I can do that. Are you ready?”

Taking a deep breath, I start at the beginning of the evening and walk through the events, my heart pounding so heavily it feels as though it might dance right out of my chest.

∞∞∞

“Hey, baby, have another,” Jason says with a sweet smile that’s lost on me as I gaze around the room.

Absently, I smile and take the proffered shot, the room spinning a little when I tilt my head back, but I don’t care because nothing fucking matters.

I confessed my love to Griffin, the only boy who’s ever made me feel, and he laughed in my face before telling me in no uncertain terms that he didn’t fucking care and frankly thought I was pathetic.

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